#these honestly look so much better than the last thing despite the minimal space

[mewkwota]

"...I'm not talking to some random schoolkid."

As much as I love having family interact, I think Kazuma needs to keep his ties to the Hikari family as a secret (also it's cooler that way). Is it because he's a criminal? Is it because he's not supposed to exist anymore? It doesn't matter, it really is cooler that way.

[hops-hunny]

When He Sees Me

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Chubby!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4.3k

Request: N/A

Summary:(Y/n) always thought she was too rational for love, until she wasn’t. (Based off of the song When He Sees Me from Waitress)

Warnings: Slight negative thoughts and angst but vast majority fluff and pining! Oh and positive use of the word fat.

A/N:  Fred is a little OOC in this?? But I honestly just imagine him as the type of guy to be sorta whipped if he really falls for someone.

I stick with real things

Usually facts and figures

When information's in its place

I minimize the guessing game

(Y/n) had always been a rational girl. In her younger years at Hogwarts, as all her friends began to giggle and blush at their crushes, she kept her nose in her books. Although she was curious of what they were experiencing, the thought never lasted long in her mind due to what her mother had told her from a young age.

(Y/n) was about the age of 6, sitting on the floor near the couch as she colored humming to herself softly. She had noticed her mom was in a bad mood due to her being sprawled out on the couch many upon many empty bottles of alcohol littered the table. She wasn’t sure why her mother was so upset but ever since they had seen her father at the park with her babysitter last week her mom had been in this mood and her father hadn’t been back.

“(Y/n) dear, promise me something.” her mother muttered to her half asleep. The girl turned around smiling at her mom. Her mom gave her a weak smile back as she pet the top of the girls head. “Never give your heart to a man. He’ll only leave it in pieces.”

At the time, the girl obviously had no clue what she meant but the older she got and the more she saw the people in her life get their hearts broken time and time again she had developed a clue. So, she simply focused on anything that wasn’t romance. School, plants, knitting, you name it and that’s what she gave her attention to. Even though it wasn’t a conscious action, it still affected her deeply.

I don't like guessing games

Or when I feel things

Before I know the feelings

How am I supposed to operate

If I'm just tossed around by fate?

Like on an unexpected date?

Although her friends described it to her many upon many of times, she still found herself absolutely clueless of what feelings of love was like. That's why when she saw him, she was confused by what was happening.

“Oh he’s simply lovely! He does this funny little things with his hands where-” Although (Y/n) was focused on her coursework, she was still listening to Diane as usual. She liked to listen to her friends retelling of experiences with lovers, soaking it in like a cheesy romance movie. She looked out the window needing a quick break from her work. Her breath hitched quietly as she placed a soft chubby hand over her heart feeling as it raced wildly in the chamber of her chest. Her body had a tingling sensation all over that she had never felt before as she felt herself get dizzy.

“W-who’s that?” she said in an airy tone, causing her friend to follow her gaze. There he stood, laughing and joking around with his friends pushing each other around. His ginger locks blew in the wind slightly and his skin glowed in the soft afternoon sun. 

“You mean you don’t know who that is? That’s Fred weasley! He’s like one of the most popular guys in our year. I can’t believe you just asked that.” She snickered some, teasing her friend. She stopped once she noticed the girl who was usually quick to snap back was unusually quiet. She smiled softly at her expression, noticing that look in her eyes. Whether (Y/n) knew it or not yet, she was absolutely enamoured with none other than Fred Weasley.

“I don’t like him. He makes me feel funny.” she said, however the way she looked out the window still said otherwise.

“Funny how?”

“I don’t know, just funny.”

“Like laugh funny or like funny funny?”

“Obviously not laugh funny, are you an idiot?” She asked, glaring at her blonde friend. She looked out the window once more. She noticed him look back causing her to gasp, eyes wide with shock. He winked at her causing her to scoff, pick her things up before shutting the library blinds and run off to who knows where.

Diane laughed to herself as she began to pack her own stuff up to go after her friend. She sighed before running quickly out the library to catch up.

“Ah, young love!”

-------------------------------------

With a stranger who might talk too fast

Or ask me questions about myself

Before I've decided that

He can ask me questions about myself

He might sit too close

Or call the waiter by his first name

Or eat Oreos

But eat the cookie before the cream?

“For the last time Diane, I’m not talking to him!” she said, slamming her book closed as she tossed it on the table in front of her. Her, Diane and a few of her other friends found themselves in the common room as they usually did on friday nights talking and gossiping about anything that came to mind. Today’s topic of discussion was the girl’s apparent “crush” as they called it. Considering she had nothing to base off of whether that’s what the funny feeling she had mentioned earlier in the week was, she decided to trust her friends in them saying that’s what it was.

“What? Oh come on, give me one good reason why you won’t.” Molly said, facing her friend her sharp green eyes boring into (Y/n)’s (e/c) ones. 

“Oh I can give you a PLETHORA of reasons why not!” the (y/h/h) girl exclaimed as she stood up. She began to pace, trying to rack her brain for good reasons on why not. “Aha! What if he butters both sides of his toast? Or-or what if he asks me too many questions on why I’m talking to him? Or if he’s as popular and well known as you say, what if he takes that as an excuse to ignore personal space boundaries and gets handsy?” 

“He’s a teenage boy, not a serial killer. Someone’s been watching too much muggle crime specials.” Molly said as she rolled her eyes, sighing as she leaned back into the couch. (Y/n) glared at her friend, letting out an exasperated sigh as she facepalmed. It wasn’t like she didn’t wanna do anything about these feelings. She most certainly did. Whatever would get rid of them the quickest is the route she wanted to take.

“Well, you could always let him know another way!” Ronnie said as they looked up at their friend. “You’ve got so many skills and talents, why not take advantage of it?” Although Ronnie wasn’t very talkative, whenever they opened their mouth they always said something that made perfect sense.

“As per usual Ronnie, you’re the voice of reason. Merlin bless Ronnie for all of eternity!” (Y/n) exclaimed dramatically as she got on her knees, pretending to worship her friend like a god. 

--------------------------

(Y/n) had been doing just that, making herself known to Fred without making herself known. The (y/h/h) girl had wanted to be anonymous about it, leaving things without her name however Diane pointed out the fact that (Y/n) had “the presence of a ghost” and that “even ghost had more of a presence then her” which meant that even if she did attach her name to the things left Fred would have no idea who it was. Because to be frank (Y/n) was, well, a nobody. 

She noticed this little ‘talent’(if you could even call it that) first year when her teachers would mark her as absent despite her being in the front row of the class and having some of the highest marks. She seemed to fly by unnoticed by all but her small group of friends which they all found funny, especially with Diane being one of the most popular girls in their grade if not all of Hogwarts. 

So, she started off small. She’d leave little notes for him in places she knew he’d find them, usually his first or last class of the day, and his seat in the great hall. She would watch him as he’d read them, flushing sometimes as he read them. However, his usual response was to read them out loud to George, bragging about how a pretty girl was leaving him notes.

“Ah listen to this one, Georgie! ‘Here’s a quidditch tip for you Fred. I noticed that when you’re on your broom you have a habit of going to the right which is why you often get stopped. Try switching it up sometimes! However, that’s not the only thing I’ve noticed. Somehow despite being in that dorky quidditch outfit, you still look just as fit as usual. Yours truly, (Y/n).’” He smirked at that part, a chorus of ‘ooo’s from his friends.

“Although she may be blind to say that, she does know her quidditch! Sounds like a catch if you ask me. I’m surprised she didn’t go for me, the better twin.” George said, choking on his toast as Fred smacked him on the back of the head.

Diane nudged her friend, glancing at her. She laughed as she saw her friend’s round face buried in a book to hide the overwhelming amount of shyness that was overcoming her. Even though this had become a regular thing, she still couldn’t stop the way her heart would race every time Fred would read one of the letters aloud. 

To avoid the notes becoming repetitive, she started to switch it up every once in a while. Baked goods, hand knitted scarfs and gloves, even flowers with meanings behind them made their way into Fred’s ownership. However, the more things he got the more not only him but other people became curious. Who was (Y/n) (L/n)?

But what scares me the most

What scares me the most

Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?

What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?

What happens then?

If when he knows me, he's only disappointed?

What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?

I couldn't live with that

Molly was currently trying to catch up to her soft friend, a sympathetic look on her face. “Why not? I think you should just go up to him and tell him! So many other girls have tried, claiming to be you.” she said, catching the other girl’s attention. She bumped into her as the (h/c) girl abruptly stopped. She turned to look at her friend with tears in her eyes causing her to look down at her agape.

“Do you wanna know why I haven’t just gone up to him yet? Do you really?” She said above a whisper as she looked up at her tall friend, silent tears making their way down her cheeks. “It scares me. It scares me even fucking more than what I feel for him does. Fred is just so..he’s funny, talented, popular. Who wouldn’t want him?” she choked out, looking away. “What if when he sees me, he doesn’t like me? Whenever he reads my notes or gets one of my gifts he always mentions how beautiful (Y/n) must be.”

“(Y/n)...”

“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with that. Now I see what my mom was talking about.” she said as she walked off leaving Molly confused by the last part of her statement. She frowned hearing her friend’s words but she knew her better than to chase after her when she was upset. She turned the other way, walking quickly in hopes she’d make it to her lecture not too late. However, a flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye didn’t go unnoticed but it did slip her mind when she saw her friend later.

So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind

This way I get the best view

So that when he sees me, I want him to

(Y/n) sat in the library at a table by herself. It was a friday, usually she’d spend this time with her friends in the commons. However, after the never ending pestering to just talk to him, to face him she told them she wasn’t feeling well and that she’d be retiring early. It wasn’t a lie, she had completely planned on getting some much needed rest but as she lay in bed tossing and turning her restlessness turned into frustration leading her to read a bit to clear her mind. Reading was what she enjoyed doing when she wanted to clear her mind or simply escape the insufferable reality she was living in. But after she found herself reading the first line to chapter three 10 times she placed her bookmark between her pages, looking out the window.

It was if the universe was taunting her from the sight in front of her. There he stood, talking to another girl from their year. She couldn’t recall the girls name but it wasn’t that important, she was beautiful. She sighed as Fred laughed at something the girl said, patting her head before walking away. ‘It’s better this way. He can’t see you which means he can’t reject you which means you won’t get hurt’ is what she kept telling herself. However if that was the truth, then why did she feel so empty inside?

-----------------------

(Y/n) laughed along with her friends as they sat in the empty common room. Everyone from their house was Merlin knows where at this time as they all shared their intimate horror stories.

“Oh come on, that did NOT happen.” she said through laughs, eating another chocolate from the box on the table. Her cheeks hurt from the amount she had been laughing. Diane was in the midst of telling what happened during her recent sexual endeavor with some guy from her herbology class.

“I swear he did! His face was green and everything! Next thing I know he was blowing chunks off the side of the bed. I offered to take him to the infirmary but he didn’t hear me through his tears so I just made my exit as swift as possible!” she said laughing as well, face red from how much she had laughed through the telling of the story. They all continued to howl with laughter, someone else’s laughing triggering someone else to laugh even more. (Y/n) was the laugh one left laughing as her friends all began to grow quiet. 

“G-guys? Why’d you stop? Who’s next?” she said, looking at Molly who was on her left and Ronnie who was on her right. 

“Um, don’t look how (Y/n) but Fred Weasley is coming this way.” Diane said, causing the girl to stop breathing briefly.

“W-what?!” she whispered loudly, eyes growing wide.

“Yeah and um don’t freak out, but he’s looking directly at you. No pressure though!” Molly said, giving her a rough pat on her back as she offered the girl a smile. The (h/c) haired girl glared up at her. As Fred grew closer, their voices grew quieter.

“Why wouldn’t that make me nervous?!” she said through gritted teeth as she pulled on Molly’s curls causing the girl to let out a quick ‘ow!’. She chuckled nervously. “Well, we have nothing to worry about! It’s not like he knows who I am!” she said as she relaxed some, closing her eyes as she leaned back. She heard footsteps stop in front of her causing her eyes to shoot open as she looked at the ground. Huh. Those shoes didn’t look like Ronnie’s shoes. Matter of fact, they didn’t look like Diane’s either. Or Mo- oh no. She looked up, arms folded across her abdomen self consciously as she looked up at the man in front of her. She couldn’t help but take in his appearance.

He was in a white shirt, some spots see through from what she assumed was a mix of sweat and water. His flaming hair was mostly dry but damp in some spots and he adorned a pair of sweatpants that made him look quite godly in her opinion. If she had to guess, he had just gotten back from quidditch practice. It was weird for her to be this close to him intentionally. The only time she found herself close to Fred was when they’d walk past each other in the hall or when their classes would go by each other due to a required location change for the lesson. Therefore she had never been able to see the freckles on his knuckles, the barely noticeable acne scars that adorned his forehead, or even the way his Irish spring’s shower gel smelled oh so heavenly.

“I’ve been all around the castle for weeks, months even. I think the main reason it took me so long was not only the fact that I haven’t really seen you up close before, but all the other birds claiming to be you. It was like that one muggle film, what’s it called? Cinderfeller?” he pondered for a moment looking off.

“I-it’s Cinderella.” Ronnie chimed in, giving him an awkward smile. They were all quite stunned. Although they all knew that this wild goose chase couldn’t go on forever, they didn’t expect it to be Fred of all people to approach first. They were sure (Y/n) would reveal herself on her own time but it seemed that they weren’t the only one’s getting impatient with the girl’s excuses and whys.

“Right, thank you. So I set off, making a list of every girl in our year in the castle- with the help of George and Dean of course- and we spoke to quite literally all of them. It was easy to weed out the fakes because they couldn’t answer questions related to some of the gifts I had received. So by the process of elimination that leaves you, love. Are you (Y/n)?” He said, crouching down to her level. As hues of brown met hues of (e/c) it was much too intimate for the girl to handle. She sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“W-well I am a (Y/n). I’m sure there’s plenty of others in the castle!” she retorted letting out a forced laugh, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt. Was the common room always this warm? 

“If I recall correctly, weren’t you bragging the other day about being the only (Y/n) in the castle? You said and I quot-” a quick stomp of (Y/n)’s foot on Diane’s caused the blonde to quickly stop whatever she was in the middle of saying. Fred looked down at the (h/c) hair girl with a quirked brow and knowing smirk. She was caught red handed. Without another word, he quickly pulled her off the couch with ease, dragging her along with him. She tried protesting and looking at her friends for help but they all simply waved and smiled at her, making kissy faces and noises. ‘Idiots’ she thought as she rolled her eyes. Fred continued to guide her, the path to where they were going looking awfully familiar until they arrived at the astronomy tour.

“Listen Fred, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I know you were probably expecting (Y/n) to be someone who looks like Diane, or hell, even Molly’s dumbass but I’m not. I’m just me.” She began as she walked to the edge, looking off the balcony. “I know now that you’ve seen me you’re probably disappointed. I’ve seen the girls you hang around all the time and they’re bloody gorgeous and-”

“So are you.” he whispered, causing her to whip her head around quickly.

“Pardon?” she responded with glassy eyes. The girl wasn’t too sure why her eyes began to water from three simple words. They weren’t the usual three words that cause or evoke such an emotional response but they felt like the missing piece of a puzzle. Her eyes followed the lanky guy as he walked over to her, tucking a few pieces of hair behind her ear as he interlocked their hands. Long, skinny and defined calloused hands meeting her soft thicker but smaller ones.

“So. Are. You. Beauty is such a fluid thing. There’s no one way to be beautiful, lovely. Museums have many unique and beautiful forms of art and so does life.” He let his hands wander on her sides, gliding up and down her love handles, waist, and hips. He took one of his hands to tilt her head up oh so gently. “If you were a sculpture, you’d be made of the finest of marble by the most talented of sculptors. Hell, if I wasn’t so bloody bad with art I’d sculpt you myself but I don’t think I’d be doing you much justice. It’d be a monstrosity.” he said, shuddering at the idea of him doing anything art related. (Y/n) found herself giggling at that.

“If only you applied this verbiage to your coursework. Perhaps you’d actually be doing decent.” she remarked as she continued to laugh. Fred gasped a bit before joining in as well with his own laughter. As the laughter died down, he lifted a hand caressing her cheek, thumb sweeping across the smooth skin. She found his eyes to see they were filled with adoration. “Fred Weasley, are you whipped for me?” she spoke softly as if she had said it any louder, that he’d simply disappear.

“I have been since the first time I saw you.” He responded, his own cheeks flushing a bit with a light crimson. She looked at him puzzled a bit before her eyes widened slightly.

“You remember that? That was months ago!” she noted. He grinned at that, pulling her closer.

“Of course I do. Imagine my delight when I found out that beautiful girl who slammed the blinds shut on me happened to be the girl my heart was slowly going out to with every note and kind gesture you sent my way. Merlin is definitely on my side.  Although I must be honest,” he looked away for a bit before lookin back at her. “The list was a huge help, but I also couldn’t help but overhear your conversation in the hallway that day. However I knew then wasn’t the right time to approach you, I assumed you would’ve just been more upset over the fact I was eavesdropping a bit.” he mumbled. She opened her mouth to question what conversation before she recalled what she had said to Molly that day in the hallway.

“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with myself. Now I see what my mom was talking about.”

“Hearing you speak so lowly about yourself upset me quite a bit. I wanted to plan out what I was going to say a bit more and also make sure it was actually you.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear me say those things about myself. I usually don’t say such things like that, I’m very confident in the way I look. To me, fat and ugly aren’t synonymous but I know everyone isn’t so open minded.” she admitted, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I’m also new to this whole feelings thing. You’re the first guy I’ve ever had feelings for.”

Now, it was Fred’s turn to become speechless. He couldn’t believe his ears, he had the honor, no, the privilege of being the first guy to be such a sublime goddess of a woman? He felt his ears heat up and he knew he had to look absolutely ridiculous. “I don’t blame you, I am one hell of a guy!” He said, flexing his arms as he flashed her a cheeky grin. (Y/n) scoffed some, shoving him away as she rolled her eyes playfully. She pondered for a second before standing on her tippy toes planting a kiss on his cheek...or at least that’s what she had planned. Fred being Fred turned his head last moment wrapping his arms around her waist as he pressed his lips into hers. She gasped softly, chills running up her spine again as her body tensed.

Even this was her first time having a kiss, she could tell this was a feeling she’d be craving nonstop. (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling Fred down to her height. The ginger boy smirked into the kiss, trailing his hands all along her soft frame practically melting at the feeling. His hands snaked their way down to her ass, cupping the pillowy flesh between his large hands causing the (y/h/h) to moan softly. The Gryffindor pulled away, biting and pulling her bottom lip along with him.

“So, I have a question for you then…”He started, pressing his forehead against hers. She felt the warmth of his minty breathe hit her face as she looked into his eyes expectantly. “Do I really have a tendency to go to the right when I play quidditch? Because in my opinio-”

“Fred! Really?!”

[watercolorfreckles]

An idea:

Hero and Villain going to the same therapist but don’t know about the other. The therapist knows both of their secret identities obviously and has to deal with them complaining about each other separately

Bonus scene:

Villain finds out that therapist knows Hero’s secret identity and tries to trick the therapist into revealing Hero (can be flirting, snooping in the office, etc)

Btw, I think you’re doing fantastic with your writing! I honestly can’t believe you haven’t written in so long— your recent work flowed perfectly. Thank you for sharing your talent for writing on tumblr!!! Also I just realized how long this ask is sorry I didn’t mean to overwhelm you lol

Answering my first ask (((finally)). I'm kinda nervous lol! Thank you so much for the sweet words, @glowing-alpaca (it wont let me tag you), that makes me so happy to hear. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you pictured, but this is the direction my brain wanted to go lol I haven't written anything based specifically on someone's request before so I really hope you like this!!

"Villain?"

The villain blinked and Doctor Meadows' office came back into focus. He shook his head slightly to dispel the thoughts nagging his attention.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked whether you gave what we spoke about last week a try? We talked about finding productive ways to express your negative emotions." Her voice was soft and void of judgment. "You have a creative mind, have you tried anything that has seemed to help you so far?"

Villain's gaze followed the curve of her pen as the therapist jotted a note down on her notepad.

"How can I possibly be productive when that fool in colored spandex is always barging in, getting in my way? What am I supposed to do, mm? Throw some pottery at him?"

The therapist's hands folded in her lap. "Even if you can't control the situation in the moment, you can still find ways to better prepare yourself, then you'll be equipped to process the aftermath in a healthy way. You can't keep Hero from doing things that act as triggers for you, but you can implement some techniques to control yourself better."

Villain scoffed. "What, you want me to try soaking with a bath bomb, sing kumbaya? Nothing will change until that cockroach is out of my way."

Despite the chill to his voice, doctor Meadow's expression was warm and gentle as she regarded him. She was much more sincere than the cold and demeaning therapists he'd met with at the previous facility he'd tried; or the doctor who cowered in fear when he showed up to his first appointment.

"I am confident that with time and effort, we can find a solution that will help you, villain. But you have to put your best foot forward. You have to invest enough in yourself to sow the desired outcome." Doctor Meadows held his gaze without fear, kind eyes and soft smile settling his restless energy.

She always had a way of snuffing out the tension that corded through him and wound him tight.

They had a connection, and Meadows seemed genuine in her care for him. Sometimes he even wondered if she felt more for him than that.

Villain huffed and glanced around the room, taking in the colorful artwork on the walls, the comforting throw rugs, pillows with silly inspiring catchphrases, and soft furnishings making the space feel inviting. He found it far more disarming than the sterile white, desolate offices he'd visited before.

The therapist continued after allowing him a moment of quiet to consider her words. "I understand that we are a ways away from you being in a place where you feel comfortable giving up your...occupation. I believe that we can work our way there, but for now, we have to take steps to minimize your destructive behavior. The intent behind your actions is the key to why you are compelled to do the things that you do. If we start there, we can make changes that are healthier for you and those around you. What things best calm you and make you feel grounded?"

You, he thought, but didn't say.

"Chaos," he said instead, dazzling her with a sharp smile. He crossed his legs, leaning back on the plush lilac couch.

Doctor Meadows didn't flinch. "So when you feel like your life and personal environment are no longer in your control, it comforts you to inflict that same helplessness on other people? To help you feel less alone."

Villain stared at her. Anyone else would have run and hidden at the look on his face.

Doctor Meadows waited patiently for his response. "Do you feel that that is a correct assesment?" she prompted.

Villain straightened to lean forward in his seat. When he spoke, his voice was low. "What gives you that impression?"

"When Mr. Ma--" her eyes widened as she cut herself off, correcting herself, "--when [Hero's superhero name] isn't around, you--"

"What did you say?"

For once, the therapist's blood ran cold at her mistake. "Pardon?"

Villain braced his hands on the table between them, slowly rising to his feet. He towered over her. "Hero. You know his name. Tell me his name."

Doctor Meadows pursed her lips. "I can't do that, Villain. Doctor-patient confidentiality states--"

"--He's your patient," Villain interrupted again, his smile something too sweet, too manic, to be sincere. Like poison.

The therapist tracked his movements while still looking steady and unshaken.

"Doctor Meadows. Juliet. You want to help me, don't you?" he purred, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "If I knew who he was, I could solve all my problems. Not to hurt him, just to keep him out of my way."

His fingers trailed up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin. She shuddered in a soft breath, a blush creeping over her cheeks.

"I am not at liberty to share my patient's information. You should be grateful that I don't share yours."

"Sweetheart, let's not pretend I'm just any client." Villain gently took the pencil and notepad out of her hands, setting them aside. Their gazes interlocked.

"Villain--"

"Juliet," he countered, voice honeyed. His free hand landed at the small of her back and he could feel a shiver run through her.

"Villain," she said, tone giving no room to argue. "If you are not willing to respect my rules and the policies I am required to follow, I will be forced to transfer you elsewhere."

He paused at that. The silence stretched. Could he stomach losing her? His therapist, his Juliet, the only person who came close to understanding him?

How dare she threaten to abandon him?

Finally, she shifted slightly under the dangerous look he studied her with.

"Villain. Do you understand?"

Slowly, he lowered himself back into his seat. He clenched his hands at his sides.

She smiled again, and it looked like home. "Good. Take a deep breath. Let's try a few new exercises together to help you manage your emotions."

Part 2

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[lucy90712]

Dream- face reveal

wc- 1971 

Warnings: use of dreams real name

~ I have been friends with this guy on the internet Dream for about 5 years now, we talk all the time but we have never met in person and I have never seen his face. He doesn't show his face on the internet and I've never asked so it just never happened, he knows what I look like all too well because I like sending him stupid selfies and we FaceTime in the middle of the night all the time.

We have been trying to meet in person for years but things keep getting in the way and changing our plans first family issues, then a hurricane and then a whole pandemic. Despite all of this we have finally set a date to meet which is not going to change not for anything or anyone. It's going to be a big day or should I say month, as insane as it sounds I'm going to move in with Dream and Sapnap one of our other friends for a little while to really make this trip worth it even if it only lasts that long.

The process has been difficult because for me to get to Florida I need to get a plane which requires me to get tested before I fly and for my own piece of mind I have been strictly quarantining for the past two weeks but its finally here. I fly out tomorrow morning. I went and got tested yesterday and got my negative result today which I need to get on the plane.

I've been packing all day today because to be there for a month I need a bunch of my set up and cameras so that my content doesn't just stop but then I also need clothes and I can't seem to get both things to fit quite right.

At one point my phone started ringing but there was a mountain of stuff everywhere so I had to dig around to find it and when I did I saw that it was a FaceTime call from Dream, I picked up and immediately put my phone down to get on with my 5th attempt at packing.

"Yo hows it going?" Dream asked

"I'd say pretty average right now I'm super excited for tomorrow but my bag is giving me a hell of a fight" I replied

"Prop your phone up and I'll try and help" he said

I did as I was told and got my small tripod to rest my phone in where you could see what I was looking at. Honestly it was a mess and I was kind of embarrassed but Dream didn't need to know that and besides my face wasn't in frame so he couldn't see how embarrassed I was. I attempted putting everything in a slightly different way to last time which seemed to work until it came to fitting in my tripod and my wash bag of which there was no room for.

"Fuck sake I thought I had it then" I raged slightly

"Ok take out the webcam and forget about the tripod because I have ones that you can use and then try because I think that should give you enough room" he said

"Hell yeah thanks dream" I said after zipping up the suitcase

I flopped back on the floor tired from the minimal amounts of effort I had put in today which just shows how incredibly unfit I am. I recovered before getting up and moving my phone to my desk where I sat to talk to Dream.

We talked for a while until Sapnap came in and I talked to him for a little while, he's been living with Dream for a few months so he warned me about a few things like you don't wake Dream up which I took note of and he told me that Dream will just come and sit in your stream. Eventually they had to leave so I was left on my own to just kind of chill until it was an acceptable time to go to sleep.

Skip to the morning

I woke up at 5am when my alarm went off, I have a love hate relationship with my alarm because I only ever use it when I have something going on which is exciting but the sound makes me want to throw my phone out the window. Despite my annoyance I got up and went straight to the bathroom to shower and get dressed, I thought about wearing something nice but then I realised I had a 5 hour flight and I couldn't bare the thought of being sat down for that long not in comfy clothes. My comfy outfit consisted of leggings and one of my ex boyfriends hoodies because I never gave it back and I'm over it enough to just wear the hoodie whenever I want.

At just before 6 I got in my Uber to head to the airport seeing as my flight was at around 8 it would be wise to get there early. I wasn't sure how busy the airport would be seeing as you aren't meant to travel but I don't think I've ever seen an airport that wasn't busy.

I made it to the airport and as I assumed it wasn't heaving but there was still a fair amount of people around. I made my way through the crowds and checked in for my flight before heading through security and then making it to the main part of the airport. That part was less busy as there is more space for people to spread out into which made me much less anxious about people being too close. I had a little while to wait for my flight so I went and got some food because I haven't eaten today, and I don't want to end up with a headache.

When it was time for my flight to board I went to the gate and got straight into my seat watching as more people boarded but not as many as I expected, it was clear that all of the people on the flight had a good reason to be going to Florida and not just going on holiday and no one was sat together so all rules were being adhered to.

My flight landed 5 hours later and everyone filed off the plane going there own way leaving me kind of lost in a place that I wasn't used to and with the anxiety of going to meet Dream for the first time. I had a bit longer to wait because I had to get an Uber to the house even though dream offered to come and pick me up I told him not to because the less people at the airport the better and just incase people recognised me I didn't want him to accidentally face reveal.

I collected my suitcase and went straight out to the car park to get in my uber who was waiting just outside the doors in the designated area for taxis. As soon as I got in the car I text Dream letting him know I was on my way and sharing my location just in case things went south.

My uber stopped outside this one house and I got out walking up the drive taking in the house number to make sure I was at the right place which I was. Thats when the nerves really kicked in, I was about to meet one of my best friends in person for the first time. This is so insane to think that after all there years we get to do all the stupid things friends do.

I got to the door and rang the doorbell waiting the few excruciating seconds before I heard movement behind it indicating that there was someone there. It opened slowly and the first person I saw was sapnap who of course I was excited to see but we have talked properly on FaceTime before so I already know what he looks like.

Next another person popped up behind pushing sapnap out the way and giving me a hug straight away I knew it had to be dream but he ran over so quick that I didn't get to take in anything other than the fact he was hugging me. He pulled away and I got to look at his face, he looked pretty much exactly how I thought he would from the descriptions I have heard. As much as wavy length doesn't sound like a thing it somehow fit his hair and his eyes were also super green, he was definitely taller than I expected though this man towered over me like it was nothing and could definitely push me to the ground in a second but he looked kind just how you want a friend to be.

After a few minutes of freaking out that this was actually happening they let me inside and gave me a tour of the house showing me my room and the set up they had put together for me with a webcam and tripod just like dream said. They finished off the tour before I was made to sit and play whatever game they wanted with them.

We played an assortment of games for hours on end before we ordered food for dinner which we ate all chilling on the sofa. I almost forgot that my followers didn't know I was here but when I remembered I stole patches from dream and got him to take a picture of me with her to post on twitter and Instagram because people would get it without me having to explain. Not much of a grand reveal considering Sapnap did the same when he got here but I didn't really have any other ideas I mean its not like I can just do dream's face reveal for him with a picture on my twitter can I. The response to my tweet was insane within minutes people had got it trending and they were freaking out with all sorts of theories of if I'd officially moved in or if I was just visiting although both were kind of right.

Having spent a few hours here now I feel very at home they boys are really welcoming making sure I'm all good and not too tired after my flight which of course I am but sleep is for the weak so I'll wait. I have been told to call the two of them by their real names unless its on stream which feels kind of odd because I'm use to calling them what their know by despite knowing their real names the whole time. They have given me a nickname which I now go by to make it fair.

It was sad when the day came to an end when we all decided it was best to get some sleep even though I think their going to stay up and they said it for my own sake because I've been yawning non stop for the past 2 hours but either way I'm going to go to sleep and this day (one of the best days of my life) will become that of a memory.

Although I don't think this day could have gone any better its consisted of everything I've ever wanted to have in a friend but none of my friends back home if you can call them friends are into the same things as me so it never works out. Now I have two friends who share the same interests and have the same god awful sleep schedule so we can stay up messing around together if we want to which is what life as a 20 year old should be like. Fun.

[sxfik]

you're the sunshine in the rain when it's pouring (won't you give yourself to me?)

read on ao3 • masterlist

summary: Kang Sol A was not afraid, she wasn’t built to be afraid. But what else could you call the pang that rippled through her heart as she noticed the two figures huddled at the cafe near the entrance of her school?

a/n: hello! this is my first solhwi fic i've written and if i'm being honest, it's kind of a mess but i have so many ideas for them, especially after these last few episodes! honestly, the two of them are the epitome of idiots to lovers so i just had to write this! the title of this fic is from best part by Daniel Ceasar ft. H. E. R.

come interact or drop a request if you want to see more solhwi content :)

Kang Sol A was not afraid.

She wasn’t afraid during her yearly doctor’s appointment, the glint of the long needle threatening to pierce through her. She wasn’t afraid when she stood up for her sisters, time and time again, until she was beaten and bruised protecting them. In the face of any adversity, she was taught to stand strong and fight, no matter how big or small the enemy. Even at the face of losing her scholarship and being expelled from Hankuk Law School, she knew she could pull herself up.

No, Kang Sol A was not afraid, she wasn’t built to be afraid. But what else could you call the pang that rippled through her heart as she noticed the two figures huddled at the cafe near the entrance of her school?

It’s been a week since Ye Seul’s trial, five days since the incident, and four days since she started avoiding Mr. Second Round Judicial Exam, Han Joon Hwi.

His presence was bearable prior to Ye Seul’s trial. Actually, more than bearable. It was a comfort, a person she knew she could let her guard down with. His teasing smiles or his love for ramen at any time of day.  As her days and her mind got busier day by day, his presence was unyielding. Every late night in the library, he was by her side, explaining the codes over and over again. Even when she got frustrated, or whiny, Joon Hwi was infinitely patient with her. With Joon Hwi by her side, everything seemed so easy. She saw the light at the end of the long tunnel she was dragged through. Still, with Kang Dan’s sudden appearance, Mr. Yang and Ye Seul’s trial, her mind was too busy to think clearly. To see clearly.

But when his gaze shifted to her and her roommate when he stood as a witness during Ye-Seul’s trial, her breath caught in her throat as she imagined, just for a moment, that he was going to say her name. That he was looking at her. That he was in love with her.

It was as if something clicked, like the puzzle pieces coming together in her mind. In an instant, she saw him in such clarity, every action, every smile and gesture passing through her mind. Cliche as it seems, it was as if she saw him for the first time all over again.

But of course, that gaze was not meant for her. Why would it be? Han Joon Hwi was meant to be with Sol B, not her. The students who were born to work with the law are perfectly suited for each other. It was obvious that he wanted to protect Sol B. Yet, in her weakest moment, her heart yearned for it to be her.

Forcing herself to breathe, she continued on after the trial as if nothing had changed between them. Because, well, they haven’t. The view had shifted but only for her.  At first, it was easier than she expected, teasing him about her roommate. Sol would be lying if she said it didn’t come with a twinge of jealousy but what could she do, but continue to be loyal to him. So on she continued, with Joon Hwi blissfully unaware that she was falling deeper for him, day by day.

Of course, nothing ever goes her way. Five nights ago, Sol was seated at her usual desk at the library, the rows of desks unoccupied. It was another late night for her, as she poured over her case files for a quiz the next day. Despite being a breeze for the other students, Sol had to study for a 110% in order to score an 80%. Sol set up camp in the library, her texts haphazardly strewed across the desk, highlighter in hand, as she buckled down for a long night of studying.

As the hours passed, her vision slowly blurred, the words on the page meshing together into a blob of black squiggles. She blinked, forcing her eyes to focus but to no avail. Sighing, she shut her eyes as she slumped back into her chair, allowing her head to loll off the edge of her chair and stretching her arms out.

“Still studying?” Joon Hwi’s familiar voice startled her, her head jerking back and almost tipping her chair backwards. “Whoa, Sol, be careful!” he lunged, catching her chair before she had the chance to stabilize herself.

“Yah, Han Joon Hwi, why would you come up suddenly like that?” Sol wrinkled her nose at him in annoyance, getting a teasing smirk in response. Sol turned towards her desk, pulling herself closer to the desk as he looked over her.

“Are you studying for Professor Jung’s quiz tomorrow?” he questioned, his head tilting in a familiar way as she sighed once more.

“Of course I am. Not all of us are law geniuses like you, Mr. Second Round Judicial Exam,” Sol huffed as she looked up at him but she softened her face as she saw the smile on his face.

Joon Hwi let out a small laugh as he stepped closer to her, clapping a hand on her shoulder in reassurance. “Well, then I’d be more than qualified to help, don’t you think, sunbae?” he quipped back.

“Hey, I can do it myse-”

“Hm, let me see,”  he cut her off, his eyebrows furrowed. Her heart stuttered as he leaned forward, over her shoulder, looking onto the texts that lay in front of her. “Oh, this one isn’t as bad as the others, you should start with this and then…” he rambled on, but every once of her concentration was on his proximity. The warmth of his hand on her shoulder bleed through her shirt, the feel of his palm burning her skin. He was close enough that she could hear the soft puffs of his breath, his warmth radiating off his body pulling her body towards him like a magnet.

It’s okay, just breathe. You know how to breathe right, Sol? She slowly instructed herself on how to breathe like she suddenly had to learn all over again. And wow, was that a bad idea. His cologne is even more intoxicating up close, and so is Joon Hwi. Every one of her senses was overloaded, her mind blank save for him.

“Yah, Kang Sol? You better be paying atten-” he turned his head towards her, and she forgot how to breathe all over again. His brown eyes widened in surprise as his face just centimeters away from hers. Sol parted her lips ever so slightly to speak but his gaze dropped her lips and her mind was blank again as she blinked at him. His features were so much softer up close, as she watched his face relax. His long eyelashes brushed against his cheek as he blinked. His eyes flitted back to her, but his familiar honey eyes darkened. Her eyes drifted over his face, and then dipped down to his soft lips. If she just moved closer, she could feel how soft his lips were...

And suddenly, reality slapped her in the face. What would Sol B think if she caught her boyfriend so close to her? Even with her roommate’s cold behavior, Sol knew just how much she suffered and how much it would break her to know how she felt about Joon Hwi. Despite every molecule in her body begging her to move closer, she couldn’t do that to Sol B.

So she moved away, stuttering out some lame excuse as she gathered her books and stumbled out of the library. But as she lay in her bedroom, staring up at the ceiling as she imagined all that could have happened between them, the warmth of the memory spread across her body.

And Kang Sol A knew that she wasn’t just afraid. She was terrified.

When she couldn’t stand and fight, she did the next best thing. She ran. She intricately planned everyday to minimize her contact with him as much as possible. Obviously, step one was to sit away from him in class, to avoid his gaze in the halls. She would leave her dorm as early as possible and hide until he was finished with his dinner to sneak in and grab herself something.

But it wasn’t until she tried to avoid him that she realized just how much space in her life was occupied by him. He used to always sit next to or across from her. Always looking over her shoulder, or leaning over  to see the textbooks clearly. Every time she turned to ask a question, or make a snarky comment, there was an empty space reminding her of her decision.

Still, even if he wasn’t physically present, he occupied a corner in her mind. His voice was in her head, echoing responses to her every thought. Her mind would fill with things she wanted to rant about, to ask, to share with him. When she closes her eyes at night and drifts into sleep, he would be there, his signature teasing smile on his face.

And he didn’t seem to be making it any easier on her. It seemed that Joon Hwi took it upon himself to magically appear whenever she least expected him to. If she went to the copy room to print a case file, he was sitting there, looking through a stack of papers or in line to print a copy himself. If she decides to have a late night study session, there he is across from her, books in hand with his legs propped up on a table.

Han Joon Hwi was the constant, unavoidable presence that she can’t seem to get rid of from her life. From her mind. From her heart.

“Unnie?” a soft voice snapped Kang Sol out of her thoughts, and Ye Seul appeared in front of her, near the entrance. How long have I stood here? Sol blinked.

“Ah, Ye-Seul,” she smiled at her best friend. “Let’s have some coffee today? At the cafe?” she asked, her shoulders relaxing after flitting up to where Joon Hwi and Kang Sol B stood. Well, where they were standing. I guess they left. Ye Seul’s eyebrows furrowed as she followed Sol’s gaze but before she could respond, Sol A hooked an elbow through hers, dragging her toward the cafe.

But of course, nothing ever goes her way.

“Ah, Ye-Seul, can I borrow Kang Sol for a moment?” Joon Hwi asked, suddenly appearing in their path, his eyes strictly focused on her best friend. Sol squeezed her arm in alarm, everything in her body pleading for Ye-Seul to say no so she can just avoid him until her crush fades away.

“Unnie, buy me the coffee next time, hm?” Ye-Seul turned to her with an apologetic gaze. Betrayal. I’ll get you back for this. Sol A sighed as she turned her gaze to Joon Hwi.

“Yah, Sol, why are you avoiding me like this? Please, just talk to me so we can fix it,” he pleaded with her, wasting no time to get to the point. Sol A pursed her lips as she looked up at him, her mind too full for her to answer him. What could she say to him? That she likes him? That she’s found out how much she needs him in her life, but she was too late?

“Sol, please,” his voice broke slightly as the silence stretched between them but that was enough for her to sigh, her shoulders relaxing as she gave in to him.

“Okay,” she responded and that was all Joon Hwi needed to grab her wrist and walk towards the corridor between the stairwells.

“We can talk more privately,” he answered her before she even voiced the question. “Now, why are you mad at me? The last time I saw you was at the library and then you disappeared,” Joon hwi ran a hand through his hair nervously as he rambled on and for the first time, Kang Sol took him in. To say he was disheveled was an understatement. The usual calm demeanor was nowhere to be seen and his clothes were askew as his face showed the lack of sleep and exhaustion. Her heart clenched for him, but no, you can’t do this. You can’t betray Sol B.

“Don’t you think it’s best if we don’t interact with how we used to?” she asked, her eyes glued to the floor, ignoring her throat closing up at the thought of breaking their friendship.

“What?” his eyes zeroed in on her, and she could see the confusion running through his mind.

“What do you think Sol B would think if she saw us like this? We can’t be close like this with each other bec-”

“Who cares about how I am with you?” he cut her off, his jaw clenched as his eyebrows furrow in frustration.

“Ya Han Joon Hwi, how could you do this? I expected so much better from you. Don’t you understand, it’s terrible to do this to her!” she pleaded with him, her heart squeezing inside her chest. Sol clenched her jaw, willing herself to be strong for her roommate’s sake, for his sake, and for hers.

Silence stretched between them as she looked up to him. His eyes closed for a moment while he looked down to the floor. And then his eyes flitted up and into her eyes as his fist clenched, his brown eyes filling with an unreadable emotion. “Why is it so terrible?” he whispered.

“Why-” Sol started, her voice burning in anger and pain.

“Why is it so terrible that I’m in love with you?” Joon hwi’s eyes flickered up to hers, his gaze boring into her.

Kang Sol blinked. Her back straightened as her mouth opened and closed like a fish, as Joon Hwi took a step closer. “Me?” she stuttered out, her mind spinning, unable to process his words.

“You.” He stepped closer.

“But you like Kang Sol-”

“A. Kang Sol A.” Another step closer.

She closed her eyes as she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and to ignore his proximity. But all her attempts were futile as Joon Hwi brought his hand up, his touch feather light as he cupped her face, tilting it up to meet his gaze. Sol’s hands felt frozen as her breath lodged into her throat, her eyes meeting his. She could hear her heart thundering in her ribcage as Joon hwi spoke.

“I like you, Kang Sol. It’s always been you,” he whispered, his voice wavering as he grew closer, his lips just a centimeter away from hers. Never one with patience, she surged forward to meet his lips. Her imagination and dreams did not compare to how his lips felt against hers. It was soft and his kisses were just as unyielding as his presence. It was all consuming as her hands gripped his coat, pulling him closer. His thumb running across her cheekbones, he shifted his head pulling her in deeper as his hands cupped her face. Even though their lips just met for a few moments, it felt as though his soft lips were against hers for an eternity.

Sol’s eyes were still closed as they parted, not wishing to leave this moment and back into real life. Apprehensively, she met his eyes and a moment of silence stretched between them, as they caught their breath. A million watt smile stretched across his face, his contagious happiness brightening her up as she smiled back. But suddenly reality caught up to her.

“Wait, so you’re not with my roommate?” she questioned, confused about everything she had seen between them. Joon hwi shook his head.

“No, I was just with her because she asked for help during one of her legal research papers,” he explained, then paused. “Yah, wait. You avoided me this whole time because you thought I was in love with Kang Sol B?” a smirk spread across his face, his expression taunting. Sol bit her lip as she looked down, unwilling to admit her mistake.

“Yah, how can you be at law school and not figure out I liked you!” he asked, his voice incredulous.

“You were so ambiguous! Every time I thought you liked me as more than friends, you’d act close with Sol B!” she huffed out, pouting  and pulling away from him, embarrassed that she thought he liked her roommate. Before she could pull away, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into a crushing hug. Her body relaxed as she took him in, the way he felt against her intoxicating and comforting beyond description.

Kang Sol A was terrified. But having him at her side was enough to know that she could fight once more, together, as more than friends.

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Hell’s Kitchen || Ariana, Rio, Damien, and Kaden

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Kaden’s Apartment PARTIES: @letsbenditlikebennett, @3starsquinn, @damienxsheppard, @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Kaden finally recruits help to make the staggering number of pies needed. Two werewolves, two hunters, and one pixie, no problems whatsoever.

“Is there more flour over there?” Kaden called out, barely looking up from the counter as he worked to make more dough. It didn’t matter who answered. Honestly he wasn’t certain that his apartment was big enough for all four of them at once, at least not actively working and baking. He knew it wasn’t big enough for the number of pies they had to make. It was hard to keep from muttering curses under his breath as he worked, mostly about two hundred pies and mostly in French. Still, he was grateful for the help at the moment, odd bunch though it might be. Two werewolves and two werewolf hunters. All in one apartment. Kaden had to keep rolling his shoulders back to ignore the chills down his spine every now and then. “Make sure the finished ones are labeled,” he called out to the living room. “Uh, please.” The timer buzzed and he nearly jumped out of his skin. “And someone grab that. I’ve got another ready here to swap out.”

Orion felt like a fish out of water. He didn’t think it was going too far out on a limb to assume that he had the least amount of experience with baking. Unless watching his sister bake growing up counted for anything. “I think I saw some flour over here.” Rio answered Kaden, dodging in and out of furniture and people to get to the counter. “Sorry, excuse me!” Rio mentioned to Damien as he slid behind him. Though the two had not met before, Rio figured that if he was a friend of Kaden and Ariana’s then he must be alright. He finally reached the bag and held it up in the air triumphantly before tucking it under his arm to take back over to Kaden. He ignored the tingling sensation nipping at his skin, a mainstay anytime he hung out with Ariana. Eventually it would stop bothering him like it always did. “What do you want me to do with it?” Rio found himself asking. This had been how he tried to make himself useful despite the minimal amount of baking experience he had. He didn’t know how to bake the pies, so he busied himself grabbing ingredients and measuring things out instead.

Damien wasn’t sure why he agreed to help. He was not typically the sort to be favorable to others, and he sure as shit didn’t know how to bake. Regardless of his usual disposition, he found himself here, ignorant of the threat the two men in the room could be to him, and annoyed to see the little werewolf walking about. “What are you doing here?” Damien grumbled lowly as he bent his form down to address Ariana. His tone lacked the sharp edge he wanted it to have, dulled now by their familiarity and a liking he wouldn’t admit to. If he was made to recognize the two hunters in the room he’d be forced to realize she was his closest ally. With a brief introduction to Rio, and an old greeting given to Kaden, Damien went to work. His hand snapped out to clasp the timer as Rio slipped past him, he should be glad the alarm of it signaled another pie was done and the lot of them were closer to their goal, but he hated the sound. Maneuvering through the maze of people, Damien arrived at the oven to free it of a recent baked good, leaving the door open for someone to place another on the racks.

“Hand it to me,” Kaden said simply, holding his hand out to take the bag of flour. With a quick sigh, he realized he could actually take a whole fucking second to explain. Rio did want to learn about baking, he’d said as much before. “I need to coat my hands again so that the dough doesn’t stick to them when I’m working with it.” Without even looking at the bag, Kaden reached in to scoop out some flour and pat it onto his hands. Only as soon as he did, something was off. It was… sticky? Definitely not flour. “Putain de merde,” he grumbled to himself, holding out his sugar covered hands. “Did you read the label on the bag, kid? I thought you liked reading.” he asked as he dodged around the two werewolves to get to the sink. “Please tell me you’re doing better over here. And can you get the next pie in the oven, Rio? Just make sure it’s not one that was already baked.”

Appreciative of Kaden trying to teach him along the way, Orion listened eagerly as Kaden explained the process and dipped his hand into the bag, only to pull out a handful of definitely not flour. Rio frowned at the bag, doing a double take to see that it did indeed claim to be sugar on the outside. Which didn’t make any sense considering he knew he had grabbed the flour. “I’m so sorry! I swe- I thought it said flour.” Rio caught himself mid sentence and rephrased, still eyeing the package as if the words were going to change back to flour. Rio pivoted quickly, still listening to Kaden while trying to right the wrong he had done. He found the bag of flour, opening it up to confirm this time before picking it up to take over to Kaden. Except this time when he lifted it, a stream of flour began pouring out of the bag from the bottom. “Oh come on!” Rio groaned, lifting it up to see a hole in the bottom. How had that happened? He plugged it with his hand and moved it next to Kaden, “There’s a hole in this, I don’t know why.” He explained clumsily before moving along to Kaden's next request, the new pies. He grabbed an unbaked one and moved towards the oven, waiting for Damien to remove a few before occupying the empty space. “Are you any good at baking or are you just as inept at this as I am?” Rio asked, smiling weakly at the man in what was probably a poor attempt at making conversation.

The commotion behind him drew Damien’s attention and he turned to watch as Kaden plunged his hand into a white bag and drew it back with his fingers covered in sugar. It seemed like an easy enough mistake to make, various ingredients in the kitchen were astray as the lot of them clamored to make more pies. One by one Damien pulled the pies from the oven, placing them on the limited counter space till only one was left perched in his hands wrapped in a cloth to prevent the heat from sinking into his fingertips. Searching the area for an available space, he found Rio struggling with the sought after bag of flour, a hole allowing for white powder to flow from the bag and dust their surroundings. He couldn’t help the small grin that developed on his face as Rio spoke to him, “you’re making me look good,” the werewolf replied as he moved through the limited space and dropped the last pie on the counter. An audible crack followed its landing as egg oozed from beneath the pan. “Fuck!” the curse was a little louder than need be, amplified by his genuine surprise, “where the hell did that egg come from? Did one of you put it there?” Damien reached for some paper towel to address the mess, “who the hell just leaves eggs lying around like that.”

The last person Ariana expected to see at Kaden’s apartment to help with baking pies of all things was Damien. Did Damien know Kaden was a hunter? Did Kaden know Damien was a werewolf? He had his whole werewolf sixth sense thing so he had to know, right? Maybe Ariana wasn’t his only exception which she was somehow both grateful for and a little jealous of, but she definitely preferred Kaden not trying to kill the grumpy werewolf she adopted so she’d take it. She couldn’t help the eye roll when Damien asked why she was here. “Helping make pies, obviously,” she answered jokingly as she continued rolling out some pie crust she had been working on. As fun as embarrassing Kaden could be, she wasn’t too keen to go into their fairly complicated backstory. Instead, she cackled as Kaden got his hands all sticky with sugar. It seemed like what followed was just a series of unfortunate events as Rio dropped flour everywhere and Damien broke a random egg. Ariana couldn’t help but laugh at Damien’s curses. “Y’all good? Do we need to like… reorganize the space,” she asked before her rolling pin went over an egg that definitely wasn’t there when she started rolling. “Hey,” she exclaimed with a hint of frustration in her voice, “Just because you’re making a mess of the eggs doesn’t mean you had to put one in my way,” she grumbled at Damien.

The kitchen was filled with cursing, which was nothing new, but it left Kaden wondering if the was a good idea after all. Maybe he should have just continued to struggle on his own to chip away at the growing list of orders. “My hands are wet, I can’t--” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before having to try and clumsily grab the leaking bag, alternating wiping his hands dry on his jeans. It only worked a little. The cracking behind him made him wince. “The hell is going on in here?” he muttered, mostly to himself, setting the bag aside for now. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back out of the way before remembering that his were both still a little wet and sprinkled with patches of flour. “Rearrange. Yeah, let’s do that. We can, uh… We can move things…” He looked around for any opening. “Somewhere. I don’t know, we can move the extra ingredients out onto the table over there, the one with the--” His brows furrowed as he went to point towards the dining room table. The one currently covered in mushrooms. Putain. Of course the fucking pixie was at it. Something he knew he could explain to Rio and Ari. How much did Damien even know? And what kind of shit would that lead to? Kaden sighed. For now, ignore it. “The mushrooms. Just move those. Ignore them. Whatever.”

“When was the last time you had your eyes checked,” Damien countered Ariana as she reeled to recover the damage the egg had done to her rolling pin, “I’ve been too busy to plant eggs around here for you.” He snagged another paper towel and cleaned the surface the pie was resting on, discarding the material into the nearest trash bin. He had hardly been paying attention to what the hunters were doing, only turning around when Kaden began to formulate a new plan for their operation. Eyes scanned the cluttered workspace for available room for the pies, locking on the table the same time Kaden noticed the abundance of mushrooms. Where the hell had those come from? He didn’t remember seeing them when he walked in, and if he had he would have turned tail and left thinking this was some kind of joke. Damien had been fortunate enough that since moving to White Crest his interactions with the supernatural were limited, or subtle. They didn’t exactly step out and admit they were vampires or fae. Only recently had he encountered another of his kind that resulted in any damage. He had no idea what could have produced so many mushrooms. “Are you joking?” he turned to the others, clearly confused, “are we using those? We’re not using those, right? That would be disgusting. I might not have the cooking skills of a Frenchman but even I can’t stomach the idea of mushroom pie.”

Did baking usually involve this much mess? Orion knew people always said that a few eggs had to be cracked, but he had never considered that the phrase was meant literally. “Mushrooms?” Rio asked, perplexed by Damien’s statement until he had turned and spotted them for himself. That was certainly odd, and if Rio had to take a wild guess, probably involved some sort of fae. But why here of all places? “Is this a normal occurrence while you’re baking?” Though the thought was perplexing, he thought it would be mildly humorous if the hunter’s secret to baking was some sort of fae ingredient. Rio was checking on the pies he had put in the oven when he heard music start playing from seemingly nowhere. Recognized the song too, Abba. He had always loved the group until he realized the Silver Bullet played it so much. “Where is that music coming from?”

Not quite willing to admit Damien was probably right, Ariana opted to stick her tongue out at him before cleaning up the mess in front of her. “Whatever,” she muttered before following Kaden out to the table. Her brows furrowed in confusion at the sight of all the mushrooms. Sure, he was dating a banshee, but Regan didn’t exactly seem the type to enjoy getting hopped up on fairy mushrooms. Plus, she was pretty sure those weren’t there when she arrived. “Ignoring the mushrooms. Sounds like a great idea,” she said with a not so subtle hint of sarcasm in her tone though she eventually found herself laughing at Damien’s questions. She’d explain later, but for now, she joked, “Obviously someone requested a mushroom pot pie.” Only seconds before Rio mentioned it, she could faintly hear the sound of that one Gimme Gimme Gimme song that Celeste had always liked. It caused her mouth to twist into a slight frown. “Yeah, Kaden, what’s with the old people music?” She shook her head, “No wonder you and Celeste were friends. Same boomer music taste.”

“Not normal, no,” Kaden called out with a sigh not far behind. He wiped off his hands once more on his jeans before turning to the fridge, swinging the door open, and reaching in for two bottles. “Here,” he said, handing one of the bottles of beer to Damien. “I think we’re going to need this.” He cracked open the cap and took a swig before looking at the state of the table. Rumpleskuffs, had to be. Showing off for all the new guests. Kaden debated disappearing into the other room to make a deal with the pixie just long enough to get this all over with when he, too, heard a familiar sound. His eyes darted to the teenager, wide and shocked before narrowing in on her. “Cut it out, Ari. Is this another one of your tocking tick pranks? Putain, this isn’t--” Only it was clear she wasn’t responsible for the music, either. “Hey. I’m not that old. I don’t even like ABBA. That much. Anyway.” The timer went off again. His brow furrowed and he looked back to the oven. There was no way that was right. The pies just went in. “One second,” he said as he went to check on the pies. Not done. He turned off the timer and reset it, hoping that he wasn’t going to have to reset it again in a minute or two. Something told him that might be the case.

“You don’t like ABBA?” Orion questioned the hunter, perplexed by the bold statement. When it played at the Silver Bullet was just about the only time that people in that place didn’t seem all that bad. For a moment, they stopped being all grumbly and macho. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on Rio’s part. “It’s tiktok, Kaden.” He sighed, almost amused by how terribly he had butchered the app name, “And I don’t think this song is one of the popular sounds.” Not this ABBA song at least. A timer suddenly going off made Rio jump, hopping away from the oven and raising his heart rate on instinct. There was no way those were done already. Rio folded his arms and cast a worried glance over towards Damien. If he wasn’t here, Rio would be asking about what was actually going on. Since Kaden and Ariana weren’t bringing it up, he assumed that meant he must not be in the know. Or at the very least, not in the know about  fae and the mischief they can allegedly cause. “I didn’t know volunteering to help you bake pies was going to be so... eventful.”

Damien gratefully accepted the beer Kaden offered him, with the music playing in the background and mushrooms piled up onto the table things were starting to feel part of a show. A cooking segment you accidentally landed on while clicking through shows and paused on because of the quirky nature of it all. He took a drink of his beer and shrugged off the remarks between the two discussing the name of an app and their taste in music. Damien snagged an empty bowl meant for cooking and started to collect the mushrooms, “mushroom pot pie my ass,” he replied, though he was sure by Ariana’s tone that she hadn’t been serious at all. “And don’t lie Kaden, everyone likes ABBA, or at least one of their songs.” Damien took the mushrooms he collected into review, looking over the strangeness of their appearance as if the answer was written just out of sight. “What do you even want me to do with these?”

“What? No. Even if this was a good prank, this whole mess is longer than one minute,” Ariana said with a matter of fact tone to her voice as if Kaden was supposed to know that TikTok videos couldn’t be longer than a minute. She grabbed some more finished pies to set on the table and clear their workspace and shook her head at Damien’s mushroom pot pie questioning. Later, she’d explain the significance of mushrooms though she was dying to know now just why they were here. Still, curiosity took over as she picked up one of the mushrooms and eyed the almost fake looking spots that danced across it’s cap. “Is Regan on a mushroom kick or something,” she blurted out before adding the mushroom to the bowl Damien was collecting them in. Regan didn’t seem the type to intentionally partake in fae things, but it would explain the pimping out pies thing.

How was it that everyone in that damn room knew his secret? How the hell did they find out? Kaden’s eyes shot to Ari. Did she tell Rio? She could have. But how did Damien know, too? “Alright, fine,” he admitted with a grumble into his beer. “I don’t hate ABBA but I don’t love them or anything like that.” His brow furrowed again as Damien brushed the mushrooms off the table. Interesting. Normally they were just visual illusions. Then again, Rumpleskuffs had been very bored lately. Maybe he save some spores just for this sort of occasion. “You can, uh, just put them in the trash. Or something.” Shit, would that anger the tiny fae? Probably. “Or, uh, just set them to the side. Somewhere. Doesn’t matter, figure it out.” The timer went off again and Kaden thought he might scream. At the very least he was going to take this fucking timer and chuck it out the window. Instead, he simply turned it off again, reset it again, and placed it down on the counter as gently as he could manage. It still was a bit of a slam. “Huh?” he called back to Ari, his chest tightening at the thought. He knew Ari knew what Regan was. And Rio. But would that give her away to Damien? Couldn’t they just all pretend to be completely fucking normal humans for an hour or two? Wouldn’t that be nice? “No, definitely not hers. Regan hates mushrooms. I think. Nah, this is just, uh, wel…” Shit, should have gone with her explanation. “Maybe just another experiment of hers or something. Like that.”

Damien discarded the bowl of mushrooms on the couch sofa, it seemed unlikely they’d need that space for anything else with the pies quickly taking over the apartment. He had never asked how Kaden managed to rack up such an order and it seemed a little late now to question it. The timer began to chime again, signifying one more item baked towards their goal, but the sound of it landing on the counter a little too harshly caused Damien to turn his head. Was this about Regan? He didn’t see how mushrooms could be tied back to her but the stress of this, it seemed like the roots really dug into something more daunting than a bake off. “I don’t get the impression Regan is much of a trickster. Though maybe she’d have an interest in mushrooms if they were sprouting from something recently departed. Or were related to the death of something,” at least, that was more of the impression Damien had of her, knowledgeable about all things deceased. He strode over to Kaden, placing a hand on his shoulder, “maybe you should take a break man,” he gave a light push over towards the couch, “I think he can manage for a little bit.” It was then that Damien turned his head, or rather, looked down to find Ari, “come on girl scout, time to earn a badge for baking mastery.”

Mushrooms were a fae thing, Orion knew that much. Though he didn’t think it was really a Banshee thing. Definitely not a Regan thing. Not unless this whole health kick where Regan assumed that Rio was one missed protein or strong breeze would be his breaking point had been nothing more than a practical joke all along. If that were the case, Rio would actually have to be a bit impressed. And maybe a bit disappointed. “Saprophytes” Rio suggested casually as the discussion turned towards mushrooms growing on dead things, “It’s a type of fungus that grows on dead things.” Not that those mushrooms were the kind that grew on dead things. At least he didn’t think so. Damien was trying to get Kaden to take a break, which was probably the right idea. Even if the idea of losing his lifeline to this whole baking thing was a bit terrifying. “Who is in charge then? Because I don’t know what I’m doing. Guidance requested please.”

Considering Damien seemed to shrug off any warnings she gave him about other supernatural crap that happened in town, Ariana doubted that he’d put together two and two when it came to fae and mushrooms. Kaden seemed pretty certain Regan hated mushrooms and given how serious Regan was, she doubted she was really into pranks. Still, if she happened upon some mushrooms, that could have changed her outlook a bit. At least from what Ariana understood about fae and mushrooms which admittedly wasn’t much for someone who had a warden girlfriend. She looked Damien and Kaden both with an amused grin on her face and wondered why they weren’t just throwing the mushrooms out. “Couch, seems good enough until the kitchen is freed up,” she said with a shrug before she added, “And I’m a little old to be a girl scout, but I’ve gotten pretty good at baking. So don’t worry, you two be grumpy old men together and Rio and I can take over in the kitchen for a bit.” Before she even finished her sentence, she could practically hear Kaden grumbling about how he wasn’t grumpy or saying some French swear word. While he hadn’t responded, it still left her smiling. She linked her arm up with Rio’s and assured, “No worries, Rio. I’ve been baking with your sister long enough that I’m practically an expert at this point.” Somehow, the timer was going off again and she swore it had only been a few minutes. Someone was definitely joking around here. If this was a cartoon, she was sure steam would be coming out of Kaden’s ears and that was enough to have her laughing amongst the chaos again. She dragged Rio into the kitchen, turned the timer off, and whispered, “Okay, what the hell is going on here? Who is not me and pranking Kaden?” Mime stripper reviews crossed her mind and her eyes lit up. She poked her head out of the kitchen and asked, “Hey, Kaden? Has Nell been here recently?” Though mushrooms still didn’t seem like Nell’s style even if she had joked about enchanting vegetables after the potato incident.

Damien was going to elect Ariana as the leader of this little group, she seemed to be the thread that connected most of them, but he also did not want to give Ari the satisfaction of his vote. So, he took to his role in accompanying Kaden to the couch as the second half of the grumpy man team, throwing an arm around Kaden’s shoulder as he indulged in his beer. “I’ll be happy to fit the grumpy man trope if it lets me finish my drink,” he murmured to Kaden, maneuvering towards the couch. Damien let his body all but crashing into the cushion, sinking in without protest. The time spouted off again causing him to briefly turn his head to see how the others were managing the kitchen before returning his focus on the drink. He knew he shouldn’t ask what came next, that he shouldn’t want to know, but some part of him had grown to care for these people and Damien struggled to ignore that. “How are things going with Regan, with her classes I mean?” he asked Kaden, “is she taking breaks in-between to work on the pie business?”

“Guess Ari is your guidance,” Kaden said back to Rio. “Just shout if you all need help. And I’m not that old, alright,” he grumbled as he took a seat on the couch. Putain, he couldn’t remember the last time he sat down today, if he was being honest. Maybe the teenage werewolf was right and he did need the break. The timer went off again and he pinched his nose between his fingers, hoping the pressure would relieve some of the tension in his head. It wasn’t working so he took a swig of his drink instead. It didn’t make the headache go away but it was good beer and it was better than the goddamn mushrooms. “It’s not Nell. Or Blanche. Or Grace.” Not that it was even possible to be some of them but he knew the cause of this was a small fae who had taken up residence in his apartment. Another swig was definitely necessary. “How do you know Nell, anyway?” Then again, it wasn’t hard to run into at least one Vural in town. Well, now that there were three again. Kaden sighed and was about to take another drink but Damien’s comment made him stop and furrow his brows. “Huh?” he asked as he looked over to Damien. Classes? What cl-- Oh. Oh. That’s right. When he’d explained the banshee lessons. Putain. “Uh, yeah it’s going alright. She’s made progress I think. Almost done. But yeah, the pies have been a good break for her. As much of a fucking mess this is, it’s been nice to have.”

Somehow, the two youngest ended up in charge of the pies. Luckily for Orion, Ari knew what she was doing. Unluckily for him, she knew what she was doing because of his sister. She wasn’t exactly an ideal conversation topic. Ironically, she was probably the most conflicting part of his own friendship with Ari at this point. He trusted her to keep Ari safe, but not much beyond that. “Just tell me what to do. I’ll be the obedient sous chef.” Rio laughed. When she whispered to him he shrugged but glanced toward the two. He didn’t know Damien, but he didn’t really seem the type. Kaden hadn’t been wrong to suspect Ari first, admittedly. “No idea. But all seems very… fae-y. Just pretend that’s a word.” The kitchen was a mess and he couldn’t tell what parts of that were their doing and what part was whatever was continuing to mess things up. While he waited on instructions, Rio worked to try to tidy up. “We have a very intricate young person friend group, Kaden.” Rio answered his question. Of course they knew Nell. Probably because of Winston. At least in Rio’s case, they had been the common string that introduced most of the friends Rio had now. “We’re all very tight knit.” Trauma and near death experiences had a habit of encouraging bonding experiences.

Seeing as Kaden wasn’t dropping any hint of who the hell was playing mushroom pranks on him, Ariana figured it was probably time to drop it. She could always bug him about it later. It seemed like she could have a true partner in crime with pranking Kaden. The part of her that enjoyed the clout on TikTok was delighted. The part of her that still struggled to wrap her head around fae things after everything with Lydia and then Deirdre, decided maybe this prankster wasn’t up her alley. Mushrooms brought a rightful sense of unease. “Your sous-chef duty for now is gonna be turning the timer off since it seems to like going off every 2 minutes and we all have too good of hearing for that shit,” she said to Rio who could probably already sense she wasn’t the only werewolf in the room. She got to rolling out some more dough for the crust and called out, “What he said.” It was easier than explaining they chatted online a few times before Nell and Bea helped make charmed jewelry to help protect her and Celeste. So much help that did, not that it was their fault. With a few more crusts cut out, she got another batch of pies ready to move into the oven. As crazy as the afternoon was, Ari found there was some sort of content feeling that came with being surrounded by people she loved.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MINNIE SENPAI!! blease do E, I, K, L, N, O, W, Z for Leo? 🥺💖 (i might have gone overboard, so feel free to choose the ones you like the most fhdgk)

Haha, welcome welcome!! I’m honored kouhai, please don’t worry! 💖💖💖 I hope you enjoy this post~ 

Under a cut for length, yet again LOL

Fluffy ABC headcanons listed here for requests!

E = Emotions (how does he express emotion around her?)

Bold of you to insinuate Leonardo has emotions that aren’t imposed against his will HAHAHA. Just kidding, but he does have a hard time not clowning and hiding what he’s feeling. Say it with me kids, repression. That being said, I think he will always have a hard time expressing himself without hesitation in his relationship. His first instinct is to soothe and protect; he doesn’t really know how to put himself first, very few people have ever cared to put him first in his life. One of the hardest things about being capable with the mental acuity of a blade is that everyone just kinda assumes you'll be fine (compounded by the fact that he feels burdensome asking for help). And while there’s no doubt he can take care of himself, everybody needs a daijoubu from time to time ;-;. I like to hope that his MC will be able to see through to the truth of his feelings over time--even if he doesn’t openly enumerate them--before he can smother his emotional needs into silence. Furthermore, I think he would be a little more open/obvious about the depth of his love over time because, at some point, those feelings would accumulate to the point of overflow.

With Leonardo, vulnerability is a slow burn; he will reveal what he’s thinking someday, but today is not that day. Have patience, be gentle with his absolute clown self-neglect, try to meet him halfway; that trust will inspire him to be everything he thought he never could be for someone else. 

In the meantime:

One of the key signals when it comes to Leonardo is to pay attention to when he’s seeking to spoil her. If he’s being extra uwu, that’s a surefire sign he’s Coping™ by channeling those more negative feelings into making her happy. He thinks the best way to handle The Bad Feels and/or concern for her is to redirect that energy into something constructive, and what better outcome could there be than her pouting or giving him that dazzling smile of hers? 

Honestly, with Leonardo, he tends to convert emotion into action--she will know the warmth of his love long before he ever says it out loud. 

He has a hard time articulating his feelings, so asking him to say them outright might be hard on him--it might not be the best immediate go-to. Spoil him out of the blue, instead. She’ll seek him out and just sit in his lap and cuddle for a nap sessh completely without warning, hold him tight so that he knows she’s here no matter what. She’ll indulge his cute needy moments and lounge in bed all morning together, hold his hand first when they go out, take charge in the bedroom; she’ll show him he’s wanted and needed before he can even think to doubt himself. Murmur compliments to him, make him things he loves to eat, give him a back rub unprompted. It’s the simple awareness of what he enjoys and the execution of it before he can prepare that utterly decimates him into revealing the feelings he keeps under tight control. 

He is a lover that thrives on spontaneity and burning, silent consideration for the person he cherishes. The most adorable thing about this is that he is absolutely lost when the same tactic is used against him, he’s utterly defenseless to it!! (look at me. He has zero emotional object permanence. The mere prospect that somebody would worry about him first would send him into shock. And remember: the way people give love can often be the most powerful way they receive it, too.) The sacred texts!! She can use them to make him smile that smile that lets her know he’s an absolute goner for her without the need for words; the smile that says “it will always be you. It can only ever be you.”

When he’s happy, he literally just spoils her with more energy and teasing--expect a lot of wild fun and laughter when he’s in a good mood. He will have exceptionally tender moments now and again (say after a bad nightmare of losing her, for example) where he won’t say anything at all, just holds her close. He needs to know that she’s still here, that she’s okay. It is a rare and huge act of emotional trust; MC’s understanding and her easy proximity in these moments mean the world to him. When he’s distant and evasive, that is the time to give him some space before wedging her way inside. She won’t let him sit and stew in abysmal feelings; he has a bad habit of punishing himself too much or lingering on unhappy moments in his life. Despite how he seems he takes things incredibly seriously--to the point where he exhausts himself. 

When he’s jealous and feeling petulant, he will not hesitate bitch and will get surprisingly grumpy. She’ll coo at him and reassure him that he’s the only one for her, and he’ll calm in the circle of her arms. Fun bonus: he’ll be embarrassed/mortified about being out of control later and she has ENDLESS fun teasing him just a little, even better if he punishes her with a good bangarang. Anger and irritation are emotions he tends to leave be, but if someone directs any kind of threat to MC (or an innocent in general) every trace of his jovial nature dissolves in milliseconds. He is swift, decisive, and deadly when he’s belligerent; he is the last person to push too far. He will often regret it later or worry about scaring MC, but it really does only happen once in a great while. She always reassures him that she knows he only did what he felt he had to in the moment.

You can just hear the Leonardo stan in me, lord jesus

I = Injury (how would he react if she got hurt?)

OH GOD KILL ME FUCKING SOFTLY AUGHGHGHGHGGH

I think it would depend on the injury. If it’s something like a papercut or a scratch, he’ll just be like “yare yare cara mia, be a little more careful next time, yeah?” Will bandage her up and disinfect because he knows enough about medicine to be cautious. Plenty attentive, will probably tease her about being a klutz and/or tell her to ask for help next time. Everything you would expect from Leonardo, essentially; equal parts light-hearted and responsible.

NOW WE GONNA GET SPOICY

If the injury is much more intense--say a broken limb, or deep gashes, so on and so forth--I see Leonardo being very, very grim. His lips would be pursed into a firm line, blanched white from the pressure, and his first step would be to get her out of the danger at any cost to himself. Following his ability to get her to a safe place, he would begin to tend the wound as gently as possible, asking questions to gauge the severity with single-minded concentration. “Where does it hurt? Rate the pain, describe what it feels like. Can you move the injured limb?” He will use whatever he has at his disposal to minimize her suffering if he can’t get her to a doctor immediately. If she requires treatment from someone else, he will be beside himself the entire time; chain-smoking, pacing, running his hands through his hair nonstop. He has ants in his pants until he sees her with color in her face, eyes bright again.

May I offer: They are 100% that couple (in which Leonardo is the one that falls asleep at her bedside) that’s like “you look like shit.” “look who’s talking, stupid.” and they just start laughing, mutually relieved.

During her recovery, he will be incredibly gentle but also subliminally alert. Anything she needs, she gets. If she tries to return to a normal pace of life too fast, he is straight up just picking her up and putting her back in that recovery bed. He ain’t playin’--don’t test him on this. He’s usually pretty easygoing, but he will snap at anyone who isn’t careful with her in this state. He will not take any further risk to her life. (He’s not usually brittle, but under severe conditions he can be.) He’ll tease her from time to time, but it’s much more mild than usual; he’s too consumed with concern to let her get worked up. He’s never really had to deal with a prolonged state of physical helplessness personally, but he’s seen enough in his life to know it can be really taxing on a person’s mind. There will be a thin veneer of calm, only there to keep her relaxed and to ensure the stability of her mental health. He knows that if he shows too much distress, he’s only going to worry her further--and that’s the last thing he wants. He will spend the majority of his time acquiring as many distractions as humanly possible, even if he has to be the distraction; anything to get her mind off of darker things.

When she’s back to normal, he’ll still be on alert for a short while before he goes back to his usual clowning self; might be a little more protective and cautious than usual, or be a little paranoid about the specific thing that caused her harm. (No Leonardo, we need kitchen knives--how else are we going to cut the carrots?? Please relax.) He doesn’t want that kind of heart attack again anytime soon;;;;

Honestly, it’s very likely that MC will have to be the one to remind him that she’s fully recovered--and not quite so fragile--well after she’s returned to the normal pace of life.

K = Kisses (how does he like to kiss her?)

Mah heart, mah soul

When it comes to kisses, Leonardo will vary extensively. Will give her teasing pecks intended to make her grab hold of him and force him to linger, smirking into the kiss as she’s instigated to deepen it. When he’s feeling particularly overwhelmed with feeling--say when he’s jealous or frustrated--his kisses will be dizzying; sucking on her tongue and nipping at her lips, caging her against him as he unleashes all of the desire that was building inside him. The intent will be to drown her in passion. Lazy kisses before/after a nap, where he just wants to revel in the heat of her for a moment--express his affection on a whim--before dozing off. And last, but certainly not least, he will kiss her with the express intent of marking her. Due to his inability refusal to bite her, he seeks to relieve that instinct with hickeys all over her body (most frequently around the chest and neck, sometimes along her thighs and hips when he has fun downtown).

L = Love (how does he show her that he loves her?)

This man is Acts of Service through and through when it comes to showing his love. He is exceptionally observant and sensitive to the feelings of others, so the second he sees her in need he is already seeking an externalized solution. His usual modus operandi is to enact his love as covertly as possible; he doesn’t want her feeling guilty for troubling him. That being said, if he has to be direct--he will be. He won’t ever force her, but he will remind her that he is here and that he wants to help more than anything else. If she needs time on her own he’s happy to give it (even if he pouts and fidgets restlessly the whole time). His most acute expression of love is his reliability: taking care of people is the first way he knows how to express affection.

While that tends to be his primary method, it by no means insinuates that he won’t show affection in other ways. If he teases her, it’s because he wants her attention more than anything but is far too shy to say it directly (is he a middle schooler of a lover? Yes). More to the point, asking for her time and her attention is a way that he expresses love because it means he trusts her enough to know the signs, fulfill those needs, and realize that he meant no harm with his nonsense. Though it may sound odd, his desire to rely on her a little (insert is for me? meme) is his way of showing her he’s letting her in, and that’s a very real form of love considering how Herculean an effort it is for him to rely on someone else. It’s the same reason he will sometimes make his room an even bigger disaster zone than usual. He has every intention of cleaning up after himself, he just wants her to bust in and start fussing over him LMAO  (MC: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS LEONARDO?! Meanwhile Leonardo, an idiot full of uwus at the sight of his beloved exasperated, sitting in a pile of trash: Just according to keikaku)

As odd as it may sound, it’s almost like a weird reverse damsel in distress sort of dynamic? He carefully constructs situations where she can offer him help with the express purpose (and hope) that she will care enough to bust past his enfeebled defenses. It’s so oddly demure for this enormous punk of a man, but I find it adorable ;-;

Other ways he loves to show how he feels is to take her on trips or on little adventures. One of his favorite things to do is to watch her take in places he knows like the back of his hand--or even places new to him--with all the gleeful excitement of a little kid. It just warms him down to the marrow, and makes him have so much more fun than he ever could alone to see her buzz around nonstop. If he can encourage her to relax and take some time for herself in the process, to live for herself a little (she’s all too giving) then he considers the entire endeavor a success. All the effort is worth it if she can remember their time together with a smile Must You Hurt Me Like This, Leonardo.

One form of love that he will behead me for revealing is that he also sketches her all the time in his notebook, and will look to those little moments he’s captured whenever he’s feeling down or she’s not around. 

He will have times where, if he can’t convey something properly with his actions or through making love, he will level with her. He will take the time to try to explain his feelings with accuracy, and in these moments he is both sincere and heartfelt. While it is a more rare expression of love for him, it is earth shattering when he does. Not only because his feelings run so deep, but also because these moments are unmistakably raw. Leonardo knows that vulnerability is a simultaneous boon and bane; it can inspire so much mutual joy, but it can also mean the exposure of lifelong wounds. It means acknowledging that these feelings are real. Even if she never takes advantage of the truth, he is aware of how precarious that position can be the more intense this love gets. It means facing how hollow he will feel when she's gone--something he works very, very hard to look away from.

(A related addendum because I have brainworms: The reason that people love and trust Leonardo is not primarily based in his intellect, fairly natural charisma, or good looks (though they are very compelling elements of his person). I think what people really see is how--though Leonardo sees through to the truth of peoples’ hearts in seconds--he keeps their secrets and treats them with so much respect/gentleness. It’s this odd capacity to be seen without feeling exposed that makes him such a remarkable and interesting man, and why he grows so close to everyone’s hearts. People feel understood without the need for words, feel cared for without a second thought. That being said, I think he needs someone who is similar. A person who sees all that he is on the surface, but barring that forges deeper still to find and cradle those parts of him that still need so much healing/care.

There’s a reason one of the greatest hits to his heart in his MS--one of the moments MC most powerfully gets through to him--is when she essentially says “Don’t give me that. Nobody ever gets used to loss. When something hurts, it hurts.” Whether she realized it or not, she penetrated straight to his heart with those few words. The truth is often much simpler than we might assume, and no matter how much experience one has with certain emotions--particularly grief and loneliness--no amount of experience makes them hurt any less. We only grow better at concealing or coping with age...)

N = Nightmare (what is his worst fear?)

I have a list (from Comte). I keep them alphabetized.

Jkjk, but if I’m honest I think this man has a good amount of fear inside him. I’d say the highest ones up there would absolutely be losing MC very suddenly, or being the reason--whether directly or indirectly--she gets hurt (like if his familia came after her to get back at him? he would be devastated).

If it is a timeline where he does choose to turn her, he’s beside himself at the prospect of the turning process going horribly wrong. It’s an unpredictable transition, and if she were to come back mentally broken or in constant pain (immortal wounds/aberrant) I think it would really fuck him up emotionally. He would blame himself without a doubt ;-; and that’s assuming she doesn’t hate his ass for the rest of eternity if it does go well (Leonardo I am begging you to use one brain cell)

O = Oddity (what is one quirk he has?) This one’s just a crack hc so if you were taking me seriously for any amt of this post, this is my suggestion that you stop

Leonardo is a man of many idiosyncrasies; among them an incapacity to dance and writing in a mirrored hand. 

Another one is his absolute hatred for mint. One of Comte’s favorite things to do to mess with Leonardo is to stuff the drawers in his desk with peppermint candies to ward off his old friend and make him stop sleeping under his desk (like how people will use salt for demons!). He will also drink mint tea if he’s feeling particularly irritated with Leonardo’s antics, like if he’s received a ton of letters from Leonardo’s familia. Tells him to come to his office and the place is SUFFUSED in the scent of mint. Comte is just sitting at his desk with the stack, wearing that incorrigible look like “If I must suffer, so must you.” 

One time--before MC was aware of this quirk--she had some chocolate that had mint in it after dinner. Leonardo kissed her without knowing (he came in late) and literally died where he was standing; he was biting his tongue to keep from gagging. MC just o: ???? because she’s never seen him make that grimace, especially after sharing a kiss. Comte was in fucking tears laughing at the head of the dining table while Napoleon and Sebastian were both fighting a smile--Arthur was outright wheezing. Isaac, blushing and coughing lightly into his fist, offers the explanation that Leonardo hates mint-flavored things and the scent of it makes him queasy. 

W = Warrior (how does he feel about her fighting? Would he fight for her, beside her, etc?)

Man, this one’s tough, but if I’m honest I think he would be conflicted. On the one hand, he thinks it’s badass and hot as all fuck that she knows how to hold her own in a brawl; he can’t deny it’s sexy and reassuring (he has to resist the urge to gaud her into punching him). But. That knowledge also comes with a lot of concern. Was she in a place or around people that never once looked after her? Or was it a safety precaution? He will think deeply about the implications of her capabilities, and ask about it openly if he can’t deduce the reasons from afar. He will see it as very important information in regards to how to look after her properly.

That being said, I don’t think he would let his MC fight unless there was literally no other conceivable choice (say she was attacked while he wasn’t there or before he could intercept the blow). He would literally rather fall on a sword than see her get hurt. He’s durable and used to pain; he’d rather suffer and heal fast than see her sustain a single scar or bruise. Even if it makes her angry, he’ll take a hit and ask her to stay behind him every single time without fail. He’ll accept her frustration about it and will feel that it is perfectly valid to be annoyed with him. It still won’t make him budge, though. 

Z = Zen (what makes him feel calm?)

Naps and lingering in bed well after morning with MC make this man happier and calmer than anything this world has ever seen. He loves that in those moments they aren’t thinking about anything else but each other, and he can indulge in the certainty of her presence in his life and so close to his heart. He can use the excuse of drowsiness to be tender, making love with a slow, devastating build to pleasure--hand entwined with hers against the sheets. 

Failing that, he goes to things that stimulate his senses to find calm--he can’t really relax if his hands and/or mind aren’t occupied (i.e. cigarillos lmao). It’s why he’s often in the library; he’s always seeking new information and conundrums to sort out mentally if he doesn’t have the energy to go out and about. If he’s in his room he’ll be drafting diagrams, coming up with new concepts and architectural schematics, even making trinkets for MC or fixing something in the mansion. If he needs a change of scene or has the spoons, he’ll make a trip to town to help people with any problems that need solving, or find some excuse to go looking for and tease MC HAHA (he’s a little shit, but he’s our little shit úwù)

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt91

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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Marinette woke slowly. Her head felt fuzzy and it was a struggle to open her eyes. Once she managed it the first thing she saw was Plagg, hovering and looking guilty. That couldn’t be a good sign.

“Why do I feel so strange?” Her words came out a bit slurred but she could tell Plagg understood by the way they wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“We’ve all been worried about how stressed you’ve been and the way you’ve been pushing yourself. Chloe and Tikki decided to help you rest.”  Marinette could only let out an exasperated, if fond, sigh. She was perfectly capable of recognizing her own limits no matter what they thought. Her mind flashed to the confrontation with Catwoman and she cringed internally. Yes she had a tendency to push those limits but she did know what they were.

“Let me guess they turned off all my alarms and took my phone so no one would disturb me.” Even as she said it she knew it was wrong. Plagg wouldn’t look guilty over that. Not to mention the sluggish feeling that wouldn’t go away. The only time she felt like this was… “They drugged me!”

“In their defense you were really out of it before you passed out. You scared them.” Plagg’s soft words didn’t penetrate right away through her indignation but once they did a wave of guilt hit her. She knew that Chloe especially had been worried about her but it was becoming frustrating. Everyone around her seemed to be asking her how she was doing or trying to do everything for her and she just wanted to be left alone. Chloe tried to tone it down and leave her to herself, but Marinette still felt how much the other girl wanted to help. Having so much attention directed at her all the time was draining. Because of that she’d been pulling away from everyone, even the ones she shouldn’t have.

“Where are they?” Plagg just pointed toward the outer room and Marinette struggled to sit up through the fog still trying to force her back to sleep. She hated allergy medication. “Could you move my chair closer to the bed for me?” Plagg just floated there staring at her and she had to fight not to roll her eyes. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, I just want to go talk to them.” It still took the Kwami a few moments to sigh and do as she asked. Marinette was pretty sure they only did it because she actually gave them permission to touch the wheelchair. She’d banned them from it after the last incident when Tikki had to undo the damage they’d caused. As she shifted from the bed to the chair she noticed Plagg watching her carefully.

“It’s rather impressive how adaptable humans are. For the most part nothing short of death keeps you from moving forward. You’re lucky enough that you don’t have to do so alone, but you really need to talk to the people around you more. All of you are ignoring things and trying to keep the peace but all it’s doing is creating distance that none of you want.” Marinette could only blink at the Kwami. It was rare that Plagg was serious, about anything, and she knew better than to ignore them on those occasions. Especially when they were right.

“I know. I just…” Just was used to doing things on her own. Just didn’t want to be a burden. Just was scared it would change things, and not for the better. “I’ll talk to Chloe.”

“I don’t just mean Chloe. You’re closing off from almost everyone. Unlike Tikki, I understand wanting to keep things to yourself, wanting to be independent, but you aren’t meant to live like that. You thrive with other people, not alone. Setting boundaries for people is fine, but right now all you’re doing is hurting yourself and the people around you.” She flinched even knowing that Plagg wasn’t being mean or even trying to scold her. They were just stating facts as they saw them. It honestly made it worse for some reason. The Kwami’s expression softened. “Tikki’s bugs always have an ingrained sense of duty and their insistence on secrecy and doing the right thing all the time doesn’t help any of you loosen up. You becoming the Guardian just added more stress. Despite all that, you need to remember that you’re still a teenager and no one can do everything by themselves.”

Marinette felt herself tearing up and could only nod. Plagg flew up under her chin and started purring. For all the little God had a terrible reputation they were the most supportive and forgiving of all the Kwami. They stayed that way until she could compose herself. Her head was suddenly clear as well. She’d thank Plagg for that except it meant anything she said to Chloe right now would be entirely her own fault.

“Damian’s not mother is here too. She’s been helping to make sure the two of you aren’t bothered.” Marinette held in a sigh of relief at that. It gave her a little time to try and figure out what she should say. “I like her. She’ll be a chaotic influence for you and she’s been good to my kit. Even put her parents in their place.” She couldn’t help but giggle at that. Granted she wished she’d been there to see it. Ever since the fashion show Chloe’s mother had been riding her to try and turn her back into a subservient subject. It wasn’t working but it was creating an extreme amount of anxiety for Chloe. It was one more reason she’d been trying not to lean on her too much.

“Well, I suppose I should go out there to thank her and introduce myself properly.” Plagg just gave an approving hum as she headed towards the door. When she entered the main living space she expected to be overrun but Chloe and Selina were both engrossed by documents on the table in front of them.

“This is a really well structured business plan from what I can tell. You should show it to Bruce when he gets here, or Tim. They’ll be able to give you better feedback and considering your goal they may even want to invest in it. Not to mention figure out how to do a run around so that your parents don’t know about it or try to get involved.” Chloe looked stunned at the praise and Marinette was just confused. She’d had no idea Chloe was interested in starting a business.

“You really think they would? I don’t actually need an investment. Even without my parents I have a decent amount of money from things I’ve done, and you can see the start up costs are fairly minimal since I’d be acting as more of a go between than anything else. But getting advice on how to structure things so my parents can’t do anything if they find out about it would be a relief. If my mother had any idea I was planning something like this… it wouldn’t be pretty.” Marinette had hated Audrey even before they started dating for the way she treated Chloe among other things, but now she absolutely loathed the woman for that uncertain tone in her girlfriend's voice. It was times like this she wanted to sick Plagg on the woman, no matter what Tikki said.

“Planning something like what?” Both heads snapped up in surprise at her voice but the uncertainty in Chloe’s eyes physically hurt. Had she really been so unapproachable that Chloe didn’t want to share something like this with her? Selina was the one who answered.

“Chloe has an amazing idea to connect customers with artisans and communities in third world countries. That way the people and communities get more, or any to be honest, of the profits from their work while still offering lost cost, quality items to people around the world. It even takes into account the specific economies in each region so that they don’t accidentally unbalance things and possibly cause an economic collapse in the process. It’s pretty ingenious actually.” Chloe’s face kept getting redder the longer Selina talked but Marinette could see how happy the praise made her. Between that and what Plagg had said about the woman, Marinette was ready to make her a new wardrobe as a thank you. Until she remembered that she’d be doing that anyway since she was Bruce’s fiance. She’d have to come up with something else.

“It’s just an idea really. There’s no way to be sure it will work without actually trying it.” Chloe mumbled her reply to the floor and Selina was frowning at her in concern. Seeing Chloe close off like this brought home what Plagg had said about how she was hurting the people around her. What a mess.

“Well it’s a great idea and if anyone can make it happen you can. You’re one of the smartest people I know.” Chloe’s face lit up as she practically launched off the couch to hug her. Marinette just held on tightly and made a silent promise, to both of them, to fix this.

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[mynameseri]

Akutagawa x F!Reader: Slow Motion

Song: Slow Motion by Slander

Warnings: 18+, N/SFW, alcohol and drug use, dub-con

Word Count: ~2,870

Summary: A seemingly dull night takes a turn for the better, when Akutagawa takes you to a party. Mixed drinks, loud music, foreign substances all lead to lust fueled decisions with the man of your fantasies.

A/N: Honestly, this is just super self indulgent. The idea came to me randomly one night as I was falling asleep and Slow Motion by Slander came on and the rest is history. If you read it, I’d love to hear your feedback <3

---

We are dancing in slow motion

We are feeling all the potion

We are loving in slow motion

We are feeling like this new other way of love

---

It wasn’t solely the red string of fate that ended up with you meeting Akutagawa. It was more than that. Over the past few months, your friends had been constantly trying to set you up with him, yet you came up with every excuse in the book for why he just wasn’t the one for you. You didn’t want him to be, or at least that’s what you told yourself. Although, the thought of him was enticing, absolutely thrilling; your fantasies of him were unrivaled by any other thoughts that had ever crossed your mind. The last thing you wanted was those fantasies to be shattered by a looming reality.

As you twirled your straw in your drink and sank into the barstool, you began to drift into those ever comforting daydreams. Imagining his hands tracing the details of your body, what would he say about you?  How many hours had you spent memorizing the photos on his social media? His edgy, short captions? Looking through his new followers wondering if they were a love interest of his? Despite actively avoiding him, you were intrigued. Maybe that’s why you kept your distance.

You had only ever met him a few times. Brief interactions. Did he even remember your name? You couldn’t forget his. Akutagawa. It felt so natural rolling off your tongue. You couldn’t help but imagine how it would sound, coming from the back of your throat as he pounded into you. Lewd thoughts raced through your mind anytime your friends brought him up in conversation. Had he ever thought about you in the same ways, with your thoughts always circling back to him? The day dreams were beautiful, but they were just that, a dream. Right?

It wasn’t until you felt a chilling hand on your shoulder that you were shot back to reality.

“Y/N, right?” his soft voice caused your heart to race. “What are you doing in a dingy place like this?” The heat filling your cheeks was a mix of intoxication and embarrassment. You always ended up at this bar by yourself on lonely weekend nights. It was conveniently located near your place, sparing you the hassle of finding parking or catching an Uber. There was no way to explain this to an outsider without sounding absolutely ridiculous though. After a couple seconds of awkward silence, you let out a lighthearted laugh.

“Akuta..gawa…” Your surprise was no secret, as you fumbled over saying even just his name, “I might as well ask you the same thing, should I not?” You mustered all your confidence into that one question, knowing anything after wouldn’t be nearly as smooth. He smirked back at you, surprised by the boldness. He had no business being on this side of town, but you had no right to question him further on the matter either.

“Let’s save the questions for later and get out of this place,” he mumbled, pulling you from the seat by your hand, a movement so seamless you eased right into it. Without any deeper thought about it, you left with him. As you headed toward the exit he leaned into you, “I won’t tell you where we’re going, it’s a surprise. But keep an open mind.”

---

Talk about a long night trip, no-no-no

Don't ever wait

You kept traces of my bounds

Your friends are divided in my thoughts

---

The car ride was a blur in your mind. It could have been 5 minutes, it could have been 30. Time wasn’t even a concept to you in this moment. Between your phone blowing up with messages from your closest friends and trying to admire the man of your dirtiest fantasies, you were torn. It was surreal. It would take a lot of sobering up to figure out how things fell so perfectly into place, like a board game you managed to get the upperhand in.

Checking your phone only made your heart flutter even harder; your friends were blowing up your messages with their hype, encouraging you to make the most of it. Thank god Akutagawa wasn’t trying to make conversation right now, you didn’t have the brain power or attention span to even fake it. He could probably see that just from looking at you.

As you pull up to a mansion hidden deep in the woods, the reality of it all starts to hit you in the form of anxiety and nausea. The mansion was surrounded by cars - luxury, standard, even some motorcycles. Bassy, loud music blared through the house with so much volume, you could hear it from the outside. Flashing, strobing colored lights shone through the windows. There had to be no less than a couple hundred people inside from what you could see as he parked the car.

“We’re here.” He stated nonchalantly, exiting the car before walking over to your side and helping you out. Once more, he took your hand as you walked up to the entrance together. It was a simple gesture, but it provided you the reassurance you were looking for. Spontaneity wasn’t usually your thing, making this adventure a little out of your comfort zone. But, you had a feeling that right now you were exactly where you were meant to be.

---

We all love

Dance so I can feel your lips, oh, no-no

Don't ever look away

You fill the spaces in my heart

Your friends are nowhere to be found

We're tripping all around, oh, no-no

---

A transparent capsule with a white substance inside lingered in your hand. Akutagawa had just popped a couple himself before handing one over to you.

“Ever tried molly before? I think you’d like it.” He rasped, as he gulped some water to clear his throat. Am I really about to take molly with almost a total stranger right now? You thought to yourself as you prepared your throat to swallow it down. You were already taking so many chances tonight, living on the edge. You had no plan to stop now. Music filled the house and excitement rushed through your body as you downed the pill, eager to see where the night would take you.

How long had it been? An hour? Two? The euphoria consuming your body distracted you from such minute things. Akutagawa’s body felt so perfect as it pressed against yours while you danced along to the songs together. You hardly noticed the masses of people around you on the dance floor. The jealous stares of lustful eyes, the scowls of strangers clearly judging you. He was a very desired man to say the least. You were sure they were asking themselves: why you of all people? But you didn’t care. As far as you were concerned, it was just you, him, and the music. A couple times he had leaned in for a kiss, a small peck but you craved more than that. He smoothly worked his hands up and down your body, over your clothes, riling you up. Conversation was minimal, but you weren’t bothered since you were occupied by your feelings and thoughts.

“I’ve been waiting forever to get some one on one time with you, (y/n).” He whispered into your ear, the words sending chills down your spine. A familiar heat flooded your cheek as. every fantasy of the past flooded back into your mind. Could this really be happening? You didn’t dare want to lose this chance. The chance to make your fantasies into reality.

“I can honestly say I’ve been thinking the same thing,” you confessed, cupping your hand around his face, pulling him in for a kiss. The molly fueled you with a new found confidence, unafraid of any consequences. “I want you.” Without a second thought, you pulled him into a nearby bedroom, hastily undressing each other as soon as you closed and locked the door.

---

We don't know nobody

There's people all around

Oh, girl it's a private party, oh, no-no

We don't know nobody

There's people all around

But love, it's a private party

---

Your tongues crashed against each other, in a war of lust as your bodies melted together into the silky sheets. You had your fair share of wild makeouts and spontaneous happenings in the past, but nothing could even slightly compare to this. Each kiss lingered with the right timing, each time you pulled back for air your eyes met his, stirring up arousal in your core. He looked so beautiful, so vulnerable, here with you right now. The sounds of the party going on in the background faded away as nothing else in the world seemed to matter other than taking in every second with him.

With the way the night was escalating, it was no surprise the vibe between you and Akutagawa became more passionate and heated. His tender lips were so addicting, pulling you back in for more. You couldn’t get enough; it was everything you had ever wanted and more. Removing his hand from where it rested on the backside of your head, you pressed it up against your chest, inviting him to explore your body however he’d like.

With no explanation, he pulled his hand away from your body and retracted from the kiss. He gazed longingly into your eyes as a soft look came over his face, one you had only seen in your daydreams. “Are you okay with all of this?” He asked, cupping his hand around your cheek, “Is this what you want?” He rubbed his thumb gently up and down your cheek causing your heart to beat frantically in a rhythm that almost felt unhuman. Your response was a shy smile as you nodded approvingly. There was no doubt in your mind this was what you wanted. Sober or not, it was always him.

---

We don't know nobody

There's people all around

Oh, girl it's a private party, oh, no-no

We don't know nobody

There's people all around

But love, it's a private party

---

It wasn’t like you to make the first move, but in this altered state of mind you couldn’t help yourself. Starting at his neck you peppered kisses down his soft, pale skin, occasionally taking it between your teeth and gently nibbling on it. He breathed out lightly moaning with each kiss, his enjoyment of your touch was no secret. You made your way down to his length, stroking it a few times as you prepared your mouth to take it.

“Quit teasing me, (y/n). This molly is hitting so hard...” Akutagawa breathed as he entangled his fingers in your hair, pressing down on your head and filling your mouth with his cock. “I want you so badly.” His moans were angelic to say the least. You flattened your tongue against his shaft, taking him in and out of your mouth, trailing your tongue from the tip to the base. “Fuck.” His tightening grip on your hair was euphoric, proof that he was clearly being satisfied. You placed a hand on his cock, moving it in motion with your mouth to pleasure him further. A smirk formed on your face as he involuntarily bucked his hips into you; he was so riled up he couldn’t even control his body.

“I won’t let you cum just yet,” you laughed sweetly, after removing his length from your mouth. He smiled back at you, a hot mess, so worked up from your touch. He looked so helpless beneath you, entranced by your touch, unable to predict what your next move may be. Rather than let you continue to toy with him, he began to stroke his cock with one hand and pulled you up to his chest with his other hand.

“Don’t be such a brat.” He groaned as his lips met yours once again. With no hesitation, he flipped you onto your back, leaning above you and kissing down your neck purposely leaving hickeys as he went. It was your turn to unravel beneath him, craving his touch as he lived up to every expectation you had built in your fantasies. He stopped at your panties, licking your growing wetness on the fabric.  A smirk grew on his face, as your desire for him was all too visible.

“I… want..” you moaned trying to hastily remove your panties. His hand quickly swatted yours away, as he took the fabric of your thong between his teeth and slid them off your silky legs.

“I know what you want.” He teased as he pressed his tongue to your clit, licking it in circular motions while aggressively grabbing your thighs. Clenching the sheets with your hands, you desperately tried to hold back your moans, but it was useless. He knew how to touch you in just the right way, forcing you to let out the sounds you were depriving him of. Sensing and hearing your pleasure, Akutagawa eagerly pushed two of his fingers inside of you, curling them and pumping them in and out of you roughly. As he continued to finger you, he pulled his face away from your core and looked you in the eyes before whispering: “You want… me.” You did and you were craving more. He was bringing you so close to the edge with just his fingers and mouth, you were desperate to find out how much better it would feel with his perfect cock buried deep inside of you.

“On your knees, now.” He commanded you sternly, withdrawing his fingers and leaving you aching to feel some part of him inside of you again. You complied with no hesitation, arching your back so he could hit the most sensitive parts of you with ease. “Good girl.” His praise alone stirred up even more fire inside of you. Akutagawa had no intentions of taking it easy on you tonight, whether this was because of the molly or if this was just how he was normally, you found it extremely attractive, craving him more by the second. 

It was obvious he felt the same, as you kept wanting to take it further, consumed by the euphoria overwhelming your bodies and your mutual attraction to each other. As he positioned himself behind you, you inhaled deeply as you felt the tip of his cock press against your warm, dripping entrance. He let out a breathy groan as he bottomed out inside of you and dug his nails into your ass cheek, causing you to whine out his name. Holding back a chuckle, he leans against your body kissing your spine while he pounded his dick in and out of your tight, wet core. 

“Gonna… Cum.” You whined between moans, as each perfectly paced thrust brought you closer to your impending climax. His rough hands smacked your ass in unison, a strike so powerfully painful yet enjoyable, you yelped in response. While continuing to fuck you, he moved his hands from your ass, bringing one to grip your throat and the other to pull your hair. Euphoria. Pure ecstasy. The drugs. The sex. The roughness. It was perfect. You were so overwhelmed by being fucked senseless while drowning in so many emotions. “Akutagawa!” You choked out, feeling your pussy tighten around his cock as waves of pleasure rippled through your body. It was the most intense orgasm of your life, unlike any you had ever experienced before.

“That’s so fucking hot,” Akutagawa moaned, not loosening his grip on your hair or throat, “But, I’m not done yet.” He rammed his cock into you, deeper and harder than he had at any point in the night, making the most of your pulsing core around his length. He continued to fuck you aggressively as you quivered from the continued stimulation, chasing the euphoria of his soon to be climax. Not long after, his thrusts became sloppier and slower in pace as he released inside of you, while letting out the softest, hottest moan you had ever heard.  

---

Listen, talk about a long night trip, no-no-no

Don't ever wait

You kept traces of my bounds

Your friends are divided in my thoughts

We're tripping all around and though

---

As you began to sober up from the molly and pleasure that had guided your night, you laid breathlessly in Akutagawa’s arms. Questions, thoughts, feelings all flooded your body now that you had a moment to rest and process it all. From start to finish, you would have never guessed this was how your night was going to play out, lost in the fact that this was completely unlike anything you had ever experienced before. The silence of the room contrasting the dying down party in the background was comforting in a way you couldn’t explain. Tracing your fingertips around Akutagawa’s arms, he hummed happily as his lips pressed against your head.

“I’d like to see you again.” He breathed, catching you completely off guard.

“Then please do.” You responded effortlessly, thoughts of the possible future clouding your mind. Akutagawa pulled you closer into his body, giving you one last kiss before you both drifted into sleep.  

[justatiredghost]

Everything I ever wanted Ch3 Read More AO3

Dave died in Vietnam, but then he suddenly wakes up again in some sort of science facility. He has no idea what’s going on or where Klaus is, but he’s pretty sure he’s a prisoner. (The Commission has the technology to offer Five a new body, but since the Hargreeves siblings went on the run after failing to stop the apocalypse, they’ve managed to advance that technology even further.)

-

Dave jolted awake, half remembered memories of pain and terror spurring him on as he scrambled off of a bed, trying to get away while he still could because he wasn’t restrained anymore. He was moving too quickly, his stiff limbs protesting, but he didn’t want to waste this chance in case it was all he was going to get. 

His legs gave out almost immediately and he fell to his hands and knees, a pain in his chest knocking the air from his lungs. He clutched at the spot, gasping, trying to catch his breath as agony radiated through his body. Then he remembered the gunfire, the blood, and seeing his own lifeless body laid out in front of him. 

He clawed at his shirt in his panic, pulling it down enough to see, but there was no blood, not even a scar. He gagged at the memory, but he didn’t have anything in his stomach and ended up retching painfully. Once he’d regained himself, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and, while he waited for the world to stop spinning, glanced around to get his bearings. He might as well, nobody was trying to stop him yet, after all. 

The room he was in was pristine, white walls and minimal furniture that looked generic enough that they probably duplicated them for hundreds of rooms that looked exactly like this one. It reminded him of the barracks, just without bunks filling every space available. It wasn’t a home and it wasn’t a hospital, just a place to sleep at night. 

There were two doors, one propped open and leading to a small bathroom, the other large and heavy-looking, like the kind meant to keep someone inside, just without the bars. There was a huge window taking up most of the wall next to the door, but the glass was dark and opaque and he couldn’t see anything through it. Maybe it was just a bad mirror. 

None of this made any sense. He had no idea where he was or what could be happening. At least he wasn’t tied down and kept company by his own corpse anymore. His stomach clenched threateningly. He wondered what they’d done to him. It felt absurd to even consider, but what if he really had died? What would that make him, some sort of clone? Was he even the same person?

But then, how was that even possible? All of this was so surreal. This sort of thing didn’t happen, not in real life. And definitely not to a nobody like him. Maybe this was all some sort of hallucination induced by whatever they were using to keep him under for surgery. Or maybe he was just dead. Whatever was going on, the one thing he was sure of was that he needed to get out of there.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to stand up. The world swayed and his knees shook, but he didn’t fall this time. Using the bed and wall for support, he made his way towards the door. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be any sort of doorknob or lock. It was just a solid surface. He pushed on it, banged on it with his fist, but nothing happened. 

There was a solid looking white side table next to the bed, and, with a shrug, Dave picked it up and threw it at the window-mirror-thing. He put as much weight behind it as he could, but he just felt too weak and wasn’t surprised when it bounced off ineffectively. That didn’t stop him from trying a few more times, until he collapsed to the ground again, winded, his limbs feeling shaky like he’d been marching all day and night. It didn’t seem like he was getting out of here any time soon. 

“It seems like a waste of time to me, but if it makes you feel better, by all means, please continue.”

The voice startled him and he looked up in surprise to find that the glass was no longer dark and opaque. Now, he could see through to the corridor outside and an older woman watching him with some amusement, smoking a cigarette. She crossed her arms, apparently pleased by the effect her entrance had had on him. Something about her unsettled Dave. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew this woman could be incredibly dangerous.

“Where am I? What’s going on?” he asked, clambering back up onto his feet, trying not to show how wary he was of her. “And where are the others? I was on the front line; where’s the rest of my squad?” 

“My, aren’t we just full of questions,” she said with a chuckle. “Lets see. Where to begin? Well, you are at the Commission headquarters. The R&D department, specifically.”

“Can I leave? Or am I a prisoner.”

“You’re not even a tiny bit curious as to what the Commission is?” 

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure you’d give me an honest answer.”

“Fair enough,” the woman sighed. “We do safeguard all of space and time, but very well. Moving on; the Umbrella Academy, or, the Hargreeves siblings, a name you’re no doubt familiar with, have been causing us quite a bit of trouble lately.”

Hargreeves? As in Klaus Hargreeves? He had mentioned the Umbrella Academy before, so it was possible. Dave nearly asked in his excitement, at this hint that he might still be alive, but he bit his tongue. He still didn’t know what she wanted and he didn’t want to give anything Klaus wouldn’t want her to have. So he simply stayed quiet and hoped his expression didn’t give him away. He doubted it. He never had been very good at that sort of thing.

“We’d like to strike a bargain with them; put an end to all this nonsense. This is where you come in. Since you were obviously close to one of its members, we brought you back as a sign of good faith.”

“Brought me back?” Dave echoed, worried he knew what the answer was going to be. He just needed to hear it.

“What we’ve done here is a scientific marvel, really,” the woman said, looking pleased with herself. “Sure, we can recreate a person’s body, keeping our employees at the top of their game, that’s easy. But bringing someone back from the dead? That took a bit of creativity. But I’m proud to say it worked in the end. Hopefully our next experiment will prove just as fruitful.”

Dave could hardly listen, too stunned to pay attention. So he really had died. He absently brought a hand up to rub at his chest, where he could so vividly remember the feeling of having a ragged hole ripped into him. He tried not to think about that. He tried not to think about how the grief on Klaus’ face had been the last thing he’d seen before it all went dark. 

He took a deep breath, trying to focus on the here and now, like he did on the battlefield. He could have a breakdown or something later.

“So,” he said, taking a deep breath, hoping his voice would be steady. “What you’re saying is that you want to use me as leverage to bribe the Hargreeves to stop fighting against you?”

“‘Bribe’ is such a crude way to put it,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “We’re doing them a favor. And you, too. We can all come out of this with something we want.”

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” Dave said. “I appreciate it and all, but maybe you should put me back where you found me. I won’t be part of anything that might put the Hargreeves in danger.”

“Oh, rest assured, that can definitely be arranged,” she said and her cruel smile made him certain that she would follow through with it without hesitation if the mood struck her. “We can certainly do this the hard way, too, but we’d much rather do this with your cooperation. It would be so much easier.”

Dave always had a feeling there was more going on with Klaus than he let on. He’d said some things, painting vague pictures that Dave still struggled to completely put together. It didn’t help that they’d been high for a lot of their discussions, too. But this seemed like some sort of secret government shit that Klaus had certainly never mentioned. It was all too big for Dave and he had no idea what to think. Except that he wouldn’t ever do anything that could put Klaus in danger. 

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t help you,” he said, steeling himself for whatever was going to happen next. He half expected the woman to pull out a gun. 

“Well,” she said, adjusting her hat as if it could be anything less than perfect. “The hard way it is, then.” She turned and left, the sound of heels clicking against the floor echoing along the corridor as the window went dark again. 

Dave would have slumped to the floor in relief if his legs hadn’t given out first. They were trembling from exertion just from standing there. He couldn’t remember a time he’d felt so weak. Maybe this was just what it was like, being a clone. Or maybe he needed to rebuild whatever muscle he had had. Later, though. For now, he laid back on the carpet, completely exhausted.

Dave was a lot of things, but mostly he would describe himself as a disappointment in nearly every aspect of his life; with his family, with the military, everything. But the one thing he truly felt proud of was the way he had made Klaus smile, how happy he had seemed when they were together. If that was all he managed to accomplish in life, he would still consider it a success despite all of the other failures. That was the one thing that truly mattered. And he certainly wasn’t going to jeopardize all of that by working with a group that must have done some terrible things if Klaus had decided it was worth it to join up with the Umbrella Academy again. 

That was good, though, wasn’t it? His family had never seemed like the most supportive people, but maybe they could patch things up and look out for each other. That’s what Dave hoped, at least. Klaus wouldn’t be alone, and he had his whole life ahead of him. He didn’t need Dave. He’d probably already moved on from him and was getting on just fine. He was a survivor. 

Honestly, Dave felt a little bad for this Commission. He wasn’t really sure why they’d chosen him, he wasn’t special enough to use as some sort of bargaining chip. But even then, he wouldn’t want Klaus making any sacrifices for him, either. He didn’t even want to put Klaus in a situation where he had to make that sort of decision. So, he decided he needed to make sure he couldn’t be used against the Hargreeves in any way. He needed to escape, or die trying. If they killed him soon, maybe Klaus would never have to know. He wouldn’t have to grieve for him all over again.

[flipomatic]

Bumpy Ride

Summary: When Haru offered to drive the RV, Makoto’s mind immediately flashed to the past. In that moment she relived the day Haru drove her back to her dorm, every engine rev and jolting turn. 

She wasn’t prepared to put the RV, or her friends, through that tumultuous experience.

Word Count: 2000

Author Note: This is based on a gag in Persona 5 Strikers. I couldn’t help myself. The dialogue is not the same as the game because I cannot remember exactly what was said. Spoilers are minimal, less than the trailers for the game.

________________________________________________________

The open road stretched ahead of Makoto, farther than the eye could see. The Phantom Thieves had been on the road for only a short while, having just passed through the outskirts of Tokyo. For the next thousand kilometers they would follow the highway, only stopping to take breaks and search for jails.

Behind her, Makoto could hear the others talking. They discussed the jail they already cleared and what they thought the next one could be. Opinions varied greatly on that matter.

Listening to their voices, letting them wash over her as she drove, was comforting. It helped Makoto to stay focused, reminded her what was at risk if she messed up.

Of course, she wouldn’t. She was nothing if not diligent; there would be no accidents with her behind the wheel. If she could navigate Mementos without hitting the randomly spawning shadows, she could certainly drive them across Japan without issue.

Before, when they used to traverse Mementos, she’d been the only Phantom Thief with a driving license. Now though, there was one other.

The member in question spoke up as the road flashed by, speaking directly to Makoto.

“Are you tired Mako-chan? I can take over.”  Haru must’ve turned in her seat, since her voice was clear in Makoto’s ear.

The question, which should’ve been a welcome offer, sent a cold shiver down Makoto’s spine.

It’s said that one’s life would flash before their eyes when they’re in danger. Makoto wasn’t sure if this situation qualified, but still she could see it clearly.

She remembered the last time Haru offered to drive. In an instant, she relived the harrowing experience.

It was just one month ago.

Despite it being a Friday night, Makoto was already settled in at home. She had an assignment due at the end of next week, which was already about half done. If she focused, she could make good progress on it tonight.

Makoto was in the middle of typing a sentence when her phone beeped, signifying an incoming text message. She was surprised by the noise; she hadn’t expected to be contacted tonight. Did her sister need something?

Withdrawing her phone only took a moment, and Makoto was quickly able to verify that, no, it was not her sister trying to reach her. Instead, Haru’s name had appeared on the screen.

Makoto clicked to open the message, setting her schoolwork aside for the moment. For the last few months she had texted with Haru a couple times a week, even when she was busy. It was nice to keep in touch, even as their studies had them headed down different paths.

The text asked if Makoto wanted to meet up this weekend. Haru had some time free and wanted to catch up.

Makoto couldn’t say no to that, even if she wanted to. She texted back that that she would love to, and the conversation flowed from there. By the end of the evening, the two agreed to meet at a café between their schools.

There was a subway station not too far from there, so Makoto wouldn’t have any trouble with timely transit.

Haru ended the conversation by saying she had big news, but Makoto would have to wait until tomorrow to find out. Makoto wondered what it could be, but she knew better than to pry. She could wait, no matter how curious she was.

The next day, Makoto made sure to leave plenty of time for the journey. She was always punctual and now would be no different.

She rode the subway, which was running on time today, and soon made it to the café. When Makoto checked the time, she was a few minutes early. That was fine, even expected.

Makoto snagged a small table for two, where she could keep an eye on the door.

She didn’t have to wait long before Haru arrived. The bell over the door tinkled with her entrance, though Makoto didn’t need to hear it to know.

When Haru entered a room, she seemed to bring sunlight with her. She was wearing a new outfit, a cute pink dress and white hat, that Makoto hadn’t seen before. Her brown eyes barely flickered across the café before landing on Makoto, a wide smile spreading across her face.

Makoto stood to greet her, “Haru, it’s good to see you.”

When Haru reached Makoto, she opened her arms for a hug. “I’ve missed you, Mako-chan.” Makoto accepted the embrace, which was something Haru had taken to doing when they didn’t see each other for a while.

Haru gave tight hugs, though she didn’t linger long.

Haru sat down at the table after pulling away, taking her hat to place it in her lap. “I love your jacket, it’s very stylish.”

She must’ve been referring to Makoto’s new clothes, which she had started wearing as the weather warmed. Her cheeks warmed at the complement. “Thank you.” She replied as she sat back down, before complementing Haru’s dress in return.

The two girls then ordered coffee, a different type for each of them, and started the process of catching up.

Haru talked about her studies, how she’d been learning about different soil compositions and what they could be used for. She’d been growing a few different plants at her apartment, much to the annoyance of her landlord. The results had been good though, with a distinct improvement in quality.

Makoto shared as well, telling Haru about her classes so far. She was taking mostly general requirement classes, so she could focus on criminal justice later on. The classes had been harder than high school, but nothing she couldn’t handle.

Haru had giggled at that, and said “That’s so you, Mako-chan.”

It felt like a compliment, one that shouldn’t have been embarrassing. Regardless, after a moment’s pause, Makoto shifted the conversation.

“What was your big news?” Makoto was still curious about that, since Haru hadn’t mentioned it yet.

Haru’s expression lit up and she sat a little straighter in her seat. “That’s right, I was so excited to tell you that I almost forgot.” She put her coffee cup down on the table. “Last week, I got my driver’s license!”

“That’s great, congratulations!” Makoto replied enthusiastically. She knew Haru had been working towards the license, since it would be useful for business travel.

“I’ve been practicing a lot.” Haru said with a firm nod. She continued speaking, recounting some events from her driving training class. As she listened, Makoto recalled her own driving training experiences. They had been over a year ago, but it sounded like the program hadn’t changed much.

As Makoto reached the end of her coffee, she checked the time on her phone. More time than expected had passed; she’d been too engrossed in the conversation to notice.

“Regretfully, I have to head home.” Makoto said when there was a break in conversation, rising from her seat.

Haru stood as well, a small unwelcome frown gracing her usually cheery face. Her eyes were down, looking at her cup on the table. “I should as well.” She said, hands fidgeting slightly with her hat. “Would you like a ride home?”

“A ride?” Makoto wasn’t sure what Haru was offering. She’d been planning to get home the same way she came, by taking the subway.

Now Haru’s eyes came up to meet hers, with an almost shy look. “I drove here, so if you’d like I can drive you home.”

So, not only did Haru get her license, she also had a car. There was a problem with her driving Makoto home though. “It’s out of the way, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” She protested, despite knowing it was a weak one.

This seemed to give Haru more confidence, as her lips turned up into a smile. “It’s the opposite. I’d be happy to.” She insisted.

Who was Makoto to refuse? “Very well, in that case I accept.”

Now Haru was beaming, drawing the eyes of other patrons as she radiated warmth and energy. “Wonderful! I’ll lead the way.”

She turned to exit the café, with Makoto following behind her. They turned right out of the door and walked down the street.

“Where did you park?” Makoto asked, looking around for a parking lot. It was difficult to park a car in the city, which was a big part of why she didn’t have one.

Haru was half a step ahead of her, certain in direction she chose. “It’s not far.”

Within a couple minutes, they reached the parking garage. It was a multi-story one, as was common to save space. Makoto followed Haru inside, and then up the stairs to the third floor.

When they reached the center of the floor, Haru stopped at a car. Honestly, when she saw this one in the distance Makoto should’ve guessed that it belonged to Haru.

It was a Lexus, which wasn’t obvious by itself. No, this car was also bright hot pink. Haru grinned from ear to ear as she unlocked it, before gesturing at it with a flourish.

“It’s easy to find.” Was the only compliment Makoto was able to muster before being ushered into the passenger’s seat. She closed the door and buckled her seatbelt as Haru climbed into the driver’s seat.

After buckling up, Haru again looked nervous. She had her hands on the wheel, and was looking down at them with a stern expression.

It only lasted for a moment, and she snapped out of it before Makoto could ask what was wrong.

“Ready to go!” Haru exclaimed, turning the key in the engine to start the car. She then backed out of the space and started driving down the ramps to leave the parking garage.

Makoto thought she handled the tight space pretty well, for a new driver. She wasn’t close to any of the walls and was able to exit the garage without any close calls.

Makoto was about to compliment her skills, before they hit the streets. That was when things changed.

As soon as Haru turned out onto the street, she hit the gas far harder than needed. The car accelerated quickly, shooting off down the road.

Makoto clutched the door to maintain her balance, but couldn’t stop her stomach from churning.

She glanced over at Haru, who had a distinct smile on her face as she drove. She looked so happy, Makoto reconsidered complaining about the speed.

Then they skidded around a corner, the tires screeching from the friction. Makoto wondered if her face was turning green.

The rest of the drive was like that, with minimal conversation, high speed turns, and the smell of burnt tires.

When Haru stopped in front of Makoto’s apartment complex, she was still smiling.

“Let me know if you ever need a ride.” She said, as Makoto was trying to exit the car onto shaking limbs.

The very thought of driving with Haru again almost finished the job of emptying Makoto’s stomach. She was still leaning on the car door once she stood, so she turned back to speak to Haru.

“I think you need more practice first.” Makoto was able to speak without collapsing. As she talked, she noticed the way Haru’s face fell slightly, a small but significant change. “Once you do, I’ll be counting on you.” She added, unable to accept causing Haru harm.

Haru perked right back up. “Of course!”

After Makoto closed the door, she staggered up unto the sidewalk. Haru waved from inside the car, before speeding away down the street.

She would need a lot more practice before Makoto got into a car with her again.

All of those events flashed before Makoto’s eyes as she drove the RV, the images transposing themselves above the road ahead. It had only been a month since then, and while Haru had gotten some practice in it surely would not be enough.

Makoto wasn’t prepared to subject their friends to Haru’s speed demon ways.

“I’m alright.” Makoto replied without turning her head. “You’ve only just received your license, so it’s best if I drive.”

“Alright, but if you need a break let me know!” Haru insisted, Makoto could imagine the expression on her face, the small pout on her lips.

Makoto had a hard time saying no to her.

“I will.”

[astro-break]

I don’t see it being talked about here, so I get to ramble about Crazy:B and Honeycomb Summer so buckle in, its going to be a ride

Quick disclaimer. This is the first time I’m doing something like that and I am simply coming from this as a fan and not as a professional. Some of the things I say might be wrong. And thats okay, I invite you to DM/Ask me questions, correct me, and even have a discussion with me. I’m very willing to learn from things I’ve done wrong and I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this as well. The main purpose of this post will be to analyze Crazy:B’s growth through MVs with really low quality screenshots as my evidence/to make your reading experience more tolerable. I’ll also be speculating as to what might come going forward for the unit so if that interests you skip to the smiling Nikki screenshot near the end. So with that out of the way, have a smiling HiMERU and Nikki, get some water, and lets start.

So one thing ive always noticed with the previous Crazy:B MVs is the distance each member has with each other. This is most prevalent in Crazy Roulette, as the only real contact anyone has with each other is HiMERU and Rinne in that one “Bet. Omae wa dou da” part. In formation transitions, the space they give each other is pretty wide which in itself isn’t that big of a deal but it’s more common to have quick and snappy transitions with minimal spacing in a faster paced song such as Crazy Roulette. This especially holds true in the chorus but Crazy:B seems to be going for a more “Rile up the crowd” approach to both keep up their image as a party unit and allow their members more time to transition into the next formation

Even in shots where usually you’d expect the to be back to back with each other, they have a large gap between them as if there’s supposed to be a third member filling that space. (Note that Kohaku seems to be guilty of this the most. I think that this just speaks more to Kohaku’s impression of idols at this point in the story and the reason why he even entered the idol world in the first place.)

Even in the one scene of physical contact, HiMERU looks almost sad, wistful even, before putting on a stage smile. In HiMERU’s solo section, his face if very much melancholic and maybe even a little bit regretful. One can play it off as his lyrics have quite the somber tone as it is a lull to help increase the hype when the chorus comes around again, but wistful seems a bit odd when talking about having resolve and taking into account the general party like atmosphere of the song. Keep it in mind because it’s a reoccurring happenstance throughout these three MVs

The distance between the members is especially interesting as Crazy:B’s image is that of a wild and well, party like fun unit where the audience can just loose themselves in the adrenaline and hype. Their songs have a very rave kind of feel, the type that would get you on your feet and hopping around with your friends, so why would a unit like with such a party like vibe that keep there distance? Perhaps its because they are a newly formed unit so their approach of ��Interact with the crowd” is better for them as it allows them to take more breaks, alleviate a lot of the pressure of dancing on stage, and it builds a loyal fanbase through constant fan interaction. Though it’s still very obvious from this one MV that Crazy:B is a unit made out of convenience and they’re not having any true fun while up on stage. Their smiles appear forced and it’s like they’re simply moving in accordance with the choreo. The only one who remotely looks like they’re having fun is Rinne, who lets himself go wild. We’ll see more of that in Be the Party Bee

Overall, Crazy Roulette sets up what Crazy:B is at the start of the main story. You can see that they are very individualistic and probably aren’t doing this for fun, simply out of obligation with the only exception being Rinnie. Despite being more polished and more technically impressive, they lack the unity that Alkaloid has. It’s a very good base for Crazy:B to grow from, and they definitely improve throughout the next two MVs

Okay now that we’re finally done with analyzing Crazy Roulette, have a picture of Kohaku smiling. Go drink your water and maybe stretch a bit before we move on 

Be the Party Bee starts off with a weird formation with very little symmetry but then again its Crazy:B, thats pretty on brand. It’s important to note here that the distance between everyone is noticeably lessened, there’s more physical contact between members, and the group seems all the more relaxed. The MV came out around the time the final main story chapter was released (If I’m wrong about this please correct me) so it’s around the end of Crazy:B’s unit arc. It makes sense for them to be pretty comfortable with each other at this point with all the shenanigans they went through.

Rinne especially goes off in this Live with very exaggerated motions. He’s all over the stage, kicking cheering and being very Rinne. You see some of this in Crazy Roulette but its in Be the Party Bee that his off the wall enthusiasm is on full display. He’s a beacon, drawing everyone’s attention to himself but he also passes off the baton to everyone else, giving each member the attention with his crazy antics. Its subtle but also really embarrassing on the recipients’ side, but its there none the less. It’s pretty interesting change from his more self-centered character that was showcased in the main story (Side note, I haven’t read the mains story. At all. If this is wrong please tell me). This side of him comes into play in Honeycomb Summer as well.

There’s still some tension in the group though with them still not feeling super at ease with each other. Distance is still present, and though it is much less than what it was in Crazy Roulette, you still have a sense that these members still aren’t all that comfortable with each other yet. You can see this in shots where the group is required to get into each other’s personal space. But at this point, they have a on stage dynamic that resembles a well thought out shuffle group that meshes well together.

Speaking of shuffle groups, it’s interesting to see how Nikki acts during Date Plan A to Z (The whole MV is interesting in of itself but I won’t speak too much about that. If anyone wants me to make a post on it tho i won’t be opposed) His movements in that MV suggest that he is very much used to someone invading his personal space in the middle of a Live coughcoughRinnecoughcough (Note how he leans back from Natsume as if he’s anticipating him to come closer) and thus acts pretty reserved from the other members of AtoZ. But you also get a very real and genuine smile from him which also implies that up till this point, idol work was an obligation and he didn’t find much joy in the people he worked with but with this new shuffle group, he’s found that being an idol can be genuinely fun. Perhaps its because he was working with Rinne this whole time, working with a whole new group of people, none of which are Rinne, is a new experience for him and he finds himself genuinely enjoying being an idol. Seeing as AtoZ happens after the main story, I hope that we see how being in a shuffle group affects how Nikki interacts with his unitmates in the Heat Haze

One last thing to note about Be the Party Bee is actually HiMERU. His movements during both Crazy Roulette and Party Bee are noticeably more restrained than the other members. It’s more glaring in Party Bee as the unit works more as a team than as individuals. The most obvious section of this happening is during a tradition space where the team breaks off into two groups and fool around for a bit to get into position. Nikki and Kohaku pull this off spectacularly and their little pokes at each other seem fun, high energy, and playful. HiMERU on the other hand, focuses solely on getting into position, barely doing anything to Rinne’s attempts to provoke him into the same playful energy. There are other parts where we get an idea that HiMERU is holding himself back, but this is the most noticeable one. My speculation (hah) is that it also ties into why he looks so melancholic in Crazy Roulette, but we’ll never know what happens in canon until HappyEle gives us some lore crumbs

Overall, Be the Party Bee showcases how Crazy:B is slowly learning to work with each other and mesh together into a cohesive unit. They’re still far from perfect and each member still goes off and does things on their own but overall they have a very different feeling from Crazy Roulette

So we’re halfway done, I’m still surprised that you’re here still reading spontaneous ramblings of someone who looks way too closely into MVs. Good job, go stretch, maybe rest your eyes for a while, drink some water, eat something, do whatever you need to take a small break before continuing. Here’s a smiling Rinne as motivation to rest a bit before we move on.

Now we talk about Honeycomb Summer. Honestly its probably one of my favourite ones just because it shows how much Crazy:B has grown as a unit and as characters. From the get go, you can immediately tell how relaxed everyone looks with giant grins on their face and very energetic movements. You really get the idea that they’re having genuine fun being up on stage. And that to me is the best thing any idol can do, is have fun on stage. Because if your performance is brimming with love and fun, your audience knows it and it makes everyone so much happier. And thats my favourite part of being an idol, to make someone’s day just a little bit better, to make them smile. To everyone them that the world isn’t as awful as you think it is.

The first 25 seconds is just them having fun, and though there is still distance between them, its the type of distance that the performers make for each other so that they’re free to play around, not the type of distance that is made because you are unfamiliar with someone. Everyone participates in this play, when previously it was either very choreographed or it was Rinne being Rinne. How do I know it’s not choreographed and its Crazy:B genuienly having fun? Look at the way each member moves. Each move, though uniform, is injected with personality. Nikki is free flowing, energetic, powerful, and bouncy. HiMERU is calm, measured and precise. Kohaku is wild yet still contained, hitting his moves with calculated power. And Rinne is, well he’s his normal off the wall, noodly, playful self.

One thing that has been pointed out a lot by the IG community is Rinne and Nikki’s dynamic. In Party Bee, Nikki was caught up in Rinne’s pace and was dragged along for the ride looking very visibly uncomfortable and put off. Obviously Rinnie invading Nikki’s personal space wasn’t in the choreo and Nikki, being someone who as of the writing of this post doesn’t seem to have that much experience as an idol and with ad-libbing things on the fly, doesn’t really know how to deal with it other than grimace and hope for the best. Honeycomb Summer provides us with a delightfully amusing face as Nikki’s reaction to Rinne’s repeated attempt to throw him off his game. This, my dear readers, is what we call “The neutral face of displeasure”. Is the face of a man who has let his friend get himself into yet another stupid situation and he’s the going to have to apologize on the behalf of his friend. Again. Nikki shows a “Here we go again” type of expression throughout Rinne’s actions, which is quite interesting given that his reaction during Party Bee was nervousness and surprise. Considering that he and Rinne have worked together before the formation of Crazy:B, I have to wonder if Rinne’s antics are a recent development thus Nikki’s surprise as Rinne must have pulled off similar tricks before.

We can clearly see Nikki’s growth and maybe desensitization with his antics when Rinne tries to elicit another reaction out of Nikki. Here, he ends up smiling a cute exasperated smile and its a nice moment where Nikki has grown close enough with Rinne that he can guess when he is going to pull off his ridiculous stunts. The reaction very well may be staged though with how much time was given to highlight such a face, 

What comes next is yet another showcase as to how far Crazy:B has come to trust each other and enjoy each other’s company. Before, it was only Rinne causing chaos, mostly to Nikki, yet in this segment Kohaku and Rinne team up to lovingly bully HiMERU and its the best. Its. its everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I have a full gallery of the group’s antics right here (since I can’t embed every picture into this post, it would get way too long, but i adore this moment) but I can’t even begin to express how great this is when it comes to showcasing Crazy:B’s current dynamic. At this point, the unit is close enough to each other that they feel at ease to fool around on stage. These clearly aren’t staged as they seem to follow the choreo yet there’s aspects that seem very organic such as HiMERU’s small jab at Kohaku with his admittedly very cute smile and Rinne barging in on the two’s play. This is further backed up by how awkward HiMERU and Kohaku’s choreographed movements are, as if the performance barged into their moment. Even HiMERU and Rinne’s exchange is very reminiscent of Rinne’s antics during Party Bee though HiMERU handles these provocations in vastly different ways from Nikki. These small moments are organic, fun, and a small window into what the current dynamic between the unit is like.

The chorus certainly doesn’t disappoint either with so many good story telling beats. Throughout the chorus its very evident that Crazy:B is still a unit of individualists, though these individualists have learned to work together to create a performance that they alone as one person could never hope to create. They each get a chance to sing a small solo but their movements tell a different story, one that meshes very well with the whole. Instead of riling up the crowd like they did in Crazy Roulette, the unit instead uses their dance to entice the audience, sticking to the center of the stage and preforming as a collective, very rarely moving to the wings. That transition from individual to collective is such a satisfying change, and it speaks to how Crazy:B has developed trust with one another, knowing that the unit is there to cover if they ever make any mistakes.

Arguably, the best thing about this MV is the sheer number of genuine smiles that are on their faces. I have around 30 screenshots of just their smiles, a portion which can be found here, and the rest I’m willing to share if anyone just asks damn it. The amount of precious and pure smiles in this performance is staggering that my measly 30 screenshots is a simple fraction of how many beautiful smiles there are. For the first time, you get the feeling that they’re having fun up on stage. It really reminds me of Knights and their own growth and how they came together as a unit as well. In terms of growth, Crazy:B has gone through probably the most alongside Valkyrie and their progression from an individualistic and fragmented group made out of duty and convenience to a family is such a joy to watch 

Here’s the curious thing through. HiMERU still keeps his distance away from anyone. Even in the group shot, he isn’t as close with anyone as everyone and shies away from Rinne’s attempts at invading his personal space. Notice how HiMERU is right beside Rinne in the first screenshot, but quickly moves forward very quickly even through its clear that Rinne is attempting a hug. Even in the second screenshot, as they invade Kohaku’s space, HiMERU still keeps his distance, simply poking his head in to follow with the choreography while Rinne and Nikki bounce towards Kohaku. (Though this is can also be explained as HiMERU respecting personal space, something Crazy:B isn’t all to fond of doing in general) Nonetheless, its clear that he is enjoying himself, and his movements are much more energetic and expressive compared to the previous performances, he’s still more conservative when compared to the other members.

One final observation I had was how down to earth Rinne could be at times. At some points, he seems lost in thoughts, acting like HiMERU at times. These are very few, only appearing twice if I’m not wrong, but they are followed with Rinne “harassing” his unit mates. This leads me to believe that there is something on his mind and his heart isn’t fully in the performance. I have no idea as to the reason why this may be the case, but I hope it’s addressed in the coming event. I’ll talk about about my own hypothesizes in the next segment though

Finally, we’re finished with Honeycomb Summer. I thoroughly enjoyed the MV and it was absolutely brimming with so many details that make me so excited for the coming event. The growth showcased in this one performance is phenomenal and awe inspiring. I’m really impressed by the people who modeled and programmed the MV, it’s no easy feat to create such subtle expressions and dynamic movements.

Okay, so we’re in the final stretch here. I’d like all of you to take a moment to listen to your body and attend to anything you need to do. Maybe stretch a bit, drink some water, talk with someone, take a small break. Nikki is cheering you on as we enter the final segment.

Alright so this final section will be my thoughts on what’s going to happen in the future. The main topic on the table will be: So what I am hoping to see in the new event? bc let’s be real, HappyEle likes to throw us curveballs, we won’t actually know what happens in these events until the come out

My first and most selfish wish is for Shuffle Units to be addressed and how being in AtoZ affected Nikki. Looking at both Honeycomb Summer and Date Plan A to Z, Nikki is genuinely happy in both instances. I’d love to see how being in AtoZ made him realize that how he can help change his own unit into an environment that he can genuinely have fun with.

On that note, something that would be really cool would be Crazy:B teasing Kohaku over his partnership with Mikejimaman and being a part of Double Face at the same time with Crazy:B. I’d also like to know how throwing GFK off the stage flew with the rest of the idol world, but we’re most likely not getting that haha.... Actions have consequences guys, I just want to see those consequences come into play.

Something else I’d love to see is Hiiro and Rinne, how their new dynamic has impacted them and the people around them, and how they themselves interact with each other on a daily basis. I’d like to think that Rinne’s odd behavior in the MV is because he’s hit a snag with Hiiro, but we won’t know until the event actually comes out

Finally, can we please have more HiMERU lore. For all the guessing I’m like to do and digging I do in accordance to my own experiences, seeing things that I remember and speculate both becoming canon and getting jossed from hell to back is something i eagerly look forward to. Please HappyEle give us the HiMERU crumbs. They probably won’t though, considering that we recently got a HiMERU feature scout and some lore there :p

And with that, we have reached the end of a very long post. I don’t blame you if rn your expression is like Kohaku or HiMERU, it was very long for the both of us. I think I’ve said all that I wanted to, so any closing thoughts would just be reiterations of what was already said earlier. All I have to say is, Thank you for sticking through this long post, please ask me any questions you might have, and I hope y’all have a good day.

Thanks~

[stusbunker]

What Lingers Within: One

A Supernatural Fan-fiction Mini Series

Featuring: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written for: @thisismysecrethappyplace

Prompt: Amnesia

Word Count: 1615 (This was originally a drabble)

AMAZING BETA’ing by: @itmighthavebeenintentional​

Lovely aesthetic and beta’ing by: @thoughtslikeaminefield​

Summary: Reader witnesses the impossible and is thrust into the world of monsters. Unbeknownst to her, Dean has to face the consequences of old choices. Set in season eleven.

Warnings: Trauma as a witness to a show level violent case. Angst.

^*^*^

               All sound morphed into a dense absence, mere gentle rumbles around you as your thoughts spilled over the terror of the last two hours. It was over; you were safe. But that didn’t matter, because your body and mind were still processing, and the weight of the memories fought against your every rational belief. 

               Vampires were real. Stephenie Meyer was fucking right. Well, almost right; daylight barely affected them. The image of Chase, your co-worker, slumped beside the dumpster was peaceful compared to the sight of the monsters as they tore into the girl from the sandwich shop who had stepped out for a quick vape break.

               Somehow you dropped the trash and made it back inside. Sputtering it all out when Katelyn insisted you show her what you were talking about. The cops got called and that was when the real shit hit the fan. 

              They barked at you, patronizing and full of disbelief. Of course, you knew how it sounded, but the bodies told no lies. No one knew what to say to you and so they said nothing. 

              With the rest of the day’s work left for some untouchable future, you got yourself home in a fog. Suddenly trapped in a perpetual state of in-between, you crawled into bed, fully clothed and let the darkness claim you.

^*^*^

               “‘What seemed like a Halloween prank call quickly became a horrific afternoon on the Westside yesterday. Two victims found on the scene were drained of blood and covered in what could only be bite wounds. Police admit to increased drug activity in the area, but’---- yeah, they aren’t going to call it what it is. So, you wanna take it?” Sam called over his shoulder.

               “Vamps with a death wish? Hell yeah,” Dean agreed, leaning over to look at the laptop screen.

               They were on the road in less than an hour, the Impala rumbling east as Sam delved deeper. One name popped up in every report under witness, sinking his stomach. It could have been worse; it could have been in the victim box. Though he had sworn to never speak of her again, Dean needed to know what they were walking into.

               “You know maybe we should just pass on this one,” Sam offered awkwardly.

               Dean recoiled and gave Sam the side eye. “You find something else? I mean, they’re not usually this obvious, but these vamps are dropping bodies, Sam.”

               “Yeah, I know, it’s just--- look, I should’ve read more before we got on the road. But now that I have, I’m not sure this is the right case for--- you.” Sam was digging himself deeper the longer he talked.

               Dean’s eyebrows hitched. “You wanna try that again?”

               “It’s just, the only eye-witness is somebody we know, Dean,” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

               “So--- who is it?” Dean tore his eyes from the road completely.

               Sam pursed his lips and glared at his brother. It took Dean longer to piece together than Sam thought it would, but it had been four years. With everything that Dean had been through the past few years, it shouldn’t have surprised Sam.

               “You promised,” Dean swallowed the rest of the accusation.

               “I know. I didn’t---,” Sam was cut short.

               “Yeah? Well...” Dean trailed off. With a dejected sigh, he rubbed the back of his fingers over his three-day-old stubble. “At least it isn’t an Amara thing she got dragged into.”

               Sam paused over the silver lining, noting how the engine grumbled under Dean’s heavy boot.

^*^*^

               Waking to heavy knocks on your apartment door, you resurfaced. 

               The strain from the day before faded with groggy waking actions. As you scanned your room for the time, you realized you had slept straight through into the next day. You pointedly ignored your phone; work could wait. You straightened your shirt and stumbled down the short hallway, trying to guess who could be on the other side of the door. Looking through the peephole, you were at a loss. 

              Two guys in suits stood outside. Suddenly nervous you did something wrong, you called out. “Who is it?”

               “FBI, Ms. We have some follow up questions from the incident yesterday,” the one with long hair replied. His voice was soothing, so much more so than the police at the scene. 

               The horror flooded back into your mind and you put your weight onto the doorknob to steady yourself. Your eyes closed against the onslaught. You shook your head against the rush of warmth, and took a deep breath as you pulled the door open.

               The two agents bowed their heads slightly, IDs open and eyes almost apologetic as you put on your best listening face. The scruffy one lingered in the doorway when you gestured them inside. They seemed to have a silent conversation behind your back, and you tried not to read into it, playing with your bedhead as you decided to make a pot of coffee. 

All cops liked coffee, didn’t they?

               “Nice place,” Agent Colfax, the long-haired one, complimented.

               “Thanks, I’ve only been here a few months, but I like it,” you replied, leading them to the small table in the kitchen. 

                They seemed to dwarf your minimal furniture, filling a space that you generally ignored. You remained standing as they asked their questions. Not once did they belittle you or what you saw. Despite their bulk you felt at ease, free to answer honestly. They assured you they were trained to handle this type of assailant. They didn’t confirm or deny your assumptions.

               “I think that’s all our questions for now,” Agent Colfax looked to his partner. “Unless you have anything to add, Agent Berkman?”

               The scruffy one cleared his throat; it wasn’t until then you realized that he hadn’t spoken the entire time. “You said you moved here a few months ago? Any particular reason?”

               His voice was like crunching leaves, rich and satisfying in its resonance. Confused by the change in subject you looked to the ceiling for clarity. “Honestly? I had a pretty bad break up and I guess I needed someplace I could make my own.”

               He swallowed. “Sorry to hear that.” 

               He gave you a reassuring smile, but it fell flat. That was until his green eyes held on to yours, almost like he was searching for something. They were bright and attentive, nearly hypnotic. You felt a warmth spread over your cheeks and down your neck, but it wasn’t from embarrassment; it was welcome comfort after everything you had just re-lived. You felt intensely safe.

               “Right--- thank you for your time,” Agent Colfax interrupted, breaking through what could only be described as a staring match. 

                You blushed, pulling yourself out of the trance. You showed the agents out and decidedly locked and deadbolted the door.

^*^*^

               Dean was trying to hide the way his hands were shaking as he opened the driver’s side door. Sam was watching him with something between annoyance and pity, but Dean wasn’t up for the commentary. Seeing her again after so long was like having bricks stacked in his gut while every thought in his head evaporated.

               On the way to the medical examiner’s office, Sam broke the silence. “She seems good.”

               Dean glared.

               “Other than seeing people being killed by vampires, I mean,” Sam finished.

               “Because we just left her place, I’m giving you a pass, Sammy. But mention her again and I will break your fucking nose,” Dean hissed.

               “Whoa, hey! I’m just saying she’s safe in a quiet, normal life, Dean. Isn’t that what you wanted? When you had Cas...?” Sam pressed.

               Dean hit the steering wheel. “I don’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t this!” Dean’s eyes left the road and speared Sam to the spot.

“I wanted her out of this stuff, man. Not half-broken and alone in a new city crawling with vamps who don’t even play by the rules.”

               “So, we take care of it,” Sam eased off, head tilted and brow imploring. “She’ll be fine, Dean.”

               Dean dragged his hand down his lips. “Yeah, she better be.”

               They sat in silence the rest of the trip, rush hour slowing them down. By the time they scoped out the bodies it was dark. Working a perimeter from the crime scene slowly gave them the location of the nest, an abandoned subway station accessible through a crumbling sewer maintenance shaft. The vampires stood no chance against a revenge-fueled Dean Winchester. Sam agreed to leave the bodies, five in all, as an underground fire would cause an immediate investigation. Who knew when the skeletons would be discovered anyway.

               By the time they got back to their motel, it was too late to buy beer, which gave Dean the excuse to head out for a drink. After showering Dean suggested the hole-in-the-wall down the block. Sam reluctantly let his brother head out alone, claiming he was just going to call it a night. 

               Dean drove right past the bar and Sam watched him do it. They both knew where he was going, it was a practiced dance; build a wall but ignore the window.

               Dean sat in the Impala and stared at her apartment, he even laughed at himself for a spell. He watched the colors from her flat screen shine against the violet night, morphed by the floor length curtains. 

               She always liked a space to have a lot of natural light; she would’ve hated the bunker. That didn’t matter now. She was home safe. But being Dean, he needed to double check. 

               Flask in hand, Dean continued to pine for her the remainder of the night, lost in memories of a time when they were almost happy.

^*^*^

Tags: @flamencodiva​ @dolphincliffs​  @dontshootmespence​ @thoughtslikeaminefield​  @fangirlxwritesx67 @dawnie1988​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @foxyjwls007​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @defenderrosetyler​ @ericaprice2008​ @princessofthefandomrealm​ @wingedcatninja​​

^*^*^

Read On: Chapter Two

[asianfighter]

Sooo I found another Lucci fan girl on Insta and subsequently remembered an AU I started. The premise is my OC, Tahlia, is the daughter of the man who runs the largest security firm in the world. Needless to say, threats are ever present and she goes through body guards like nothing. Enter the man who clawed his way up to the top of the chain.

This is a brain chills I’ve neglected but I will have to get back to soon. Read at your own discretion. It’s not blatantly explicit but it is definitely suggestive and borderline NSFW. If you’re not 18, keep scrolling. If you’re of age and you like Lucci, well, I hope you enjoy.

MORE THAN HUMAN TEASER: THE FIRST NIGHT

Rob Lucci’s footsteps were quiet, even on the antique wooden planks. Just as he had been commanded, he showered and even changed into a fresh suit. Roman Espinosa always expected his guards to be well dressed; he could only assume his daughter had similar expectations. Lucci could hear the faint sound of music seeping through the walls, sliding beneath the crack below the double doors. He gave a light knock.

“Come in,” Tahlia said from the other side. He turned the handle and slipped through, making sure to close the door just as silently as he had entered. She was freshly showered as well. Her straight hair was still slightly damp and she was dressed in a silky little gown, all black, with a low neckline and lots of lace.

“Hello, Lucci,” she said with a smile. “Lock the door, will you?”

He did as he was told and walked towards the table and chairs in the center of the room. Tahlia fussed with her phone and turned up the music, low quality hip hop beats accompanying an instrumental melody. Occasionally, audio bits of a female singing in French were thrown into the mix.

“Have a seat,” Tahlia told him. Lucci unbuttoned his blazer, this one black, and sat on one of the couches. In front of him, there was a small serving tray with a curvy glass of red wine and a straight little glass that held whiskey on the rocks.

Instead of sitting on the couch across from him, Tilly sat on the wooden table directly in front of him and crossed her legs. She handed him the whiskey before scooping up the glass of dark red liquid.

“Did you like my performance?” Tahlia asked with a smirk. “I know you heard most of it.” She took a slow sip, eyeing Lucci the entire time as if she could unnerve him. He didn’t blink. “Seems like I’m still stuck with you for now… but Daddy’s convinced all it will take to make me happy is a brand new building or two. For how sharp he is in business, he can be a very easy man to deceive.”

Lucci gave her an emotionless gaze and took a sip of the cool whiskey.

“He’s talked a lot about you,” she said, staring at him. “Nice to finally put a name to face.” Lucci withheld a comment about how incessantly Roman talked about her.

“The first time I had ever heard your name,” Tilly told him, “I was 10 years old. Daddy flew in just for my birthday party…” She looked down at her glass of wine. “...and all he could talk about was how successful Rob Lucci’s first field mission went.”

An amused smile played across her face. “I honestly thought you’d be older, considering your history. You’re only three years older than I am… but I suppose that’s why you were such a success. A killing machine at the age of 13. Quite a feat.”

Rob Lucci watched her face and slowly sipped on his drink. “Did you know they call you ‘Massacre Weapon’? Quite a heavy moniker, if you ask me.” Tahlia’s eyes turned downward as she sipped on her own drink. “From simple soldier to my sole security guard,” Tahlia said. “It’s quite a leap.”

Tahlia smiled coyly. The man simply gave her the same, stoic look during her monologue.

“To your promotion,” she said, “and new beginnings in a new city.” Tahlia held her drink up. They clinked glasses together. “By the way, you look dashing in white. I liked that suit much better than the black.”

Lucci nodded, taking a mental note, then took another sip as Tahlia sat back and swished her drink with one hand. He knew others found his gaze was unsettling… but there was something slightly unsettling about hers, too.

“Since you insist on playing silent, I’ll do the talking,” Tahlia said. She took a sip of wine, her lips slightly tinted red. I have big plans, Lucci. Big plans. The only thing is… I need someone I can trust… and some serious muscle to help see them through. If my intuition is correct, you might be able to wear both of those hats well.”

Lucci tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, silently prompting her to tell him more. He was slightly curious to know what her “big plans” entailed.

“I’m not a slave driver; I won’t force you to work for me. But if you do decide to stay, I will have plenty of opportunities for you to paint the town red. I think we could have a very mutually beneficial relationship. All I need you to do is what you do best. You get to have a little fun and I get… well, whatever I want.”

A dangerous look flashed in his eyes at the promise of “painting the town red.”

“Until now I’ve been given regular men. Lackluster soldiers with lackluster skills… but you’re different, I can tell.” She looked him over slowly, like she was trying to find the secret that made him special. “You are the last piece to my puzzle,” Tahlia told him. ”With you by my side, I will have everything I need. Together, we could sit back and watch the world burn. So what do you say?”

Very slowly, Rob Lucci gave the smallest of smirks, one corner of his mouth twisting upwards ever so slightly. His eyes were focused on hers, and try as she might to read his expression, Tahlia couldn’t quite decrypt what was running through his mind. She leaned forward and, with one finger, beckoned him to do the same.

“I know you can speak,” she said in his ear. “And I actually want to hear you say it. Are you in… or not?”

When he spoke, his voice was deep. Dangerous. Just as she had with him, he leaned in and spoke in her ear. This was her father’s house, after all. They could never be too cautious. Though there was no one else currently listening, he spoke in a low voice so that only Tahlia could hear him say, “I’m in.”

“Good. I was hoping you’d say that…” She gently placed her glass of wine back down. Tahlia leaned back on one arm and said, “...because I have a little test for you.”

Lucci placed down his own glass, mirrored her posture and leaned back as well. He rested one hand on the back rest of the couch.

“How far are you willing to go to prove your loyalty?” Tahlia asked him. Lucci’s brows pulled further down. Even rookies knew there was only one way out of Espinosa Inc. and it didn’t involve a 401k.

“I wonder,” Tahlia mused aloud, leaning forward and intruding upon his personal space, “if your loyalties lie with my father… or if they lie with me.” She searched his eyes but found no answer there. “I suppose it’s all the same,” she said quietly, “for now.”

She grinned and gave him an uneven smile that looked especially dangerous in the low lighting.

“Let’s see how well they trained you to listen,” Tahlia said. There was a dark mischief to her. Lucci simply looked back, stone faced. What could she possibly do to him that men hadn’t already done before? He had been shot, stabbed, beaten, burned… the more annoying methods of “pain resistance training” had included drowning simulations and extended immersion. Despite the large burns on his back, he much would have chosen fire over water torture any day.

Roman constantly bragged about how his girl was such a talented artist. Would she use one of the traditional methods or come up with something a little more creative?

In answer to his question, Tahlia leaned forward and slid onto the couch, her legs straddling Lucci’s waist. He leaned backwards at the sudden contact, the soft seat of the couch pushing against him. Tahlia placed her cheek against his and whispered, “I want you to sleep with me tonight.” Lucci’s posture stiffened as Tahlia loosened his tie and began to unbutton his shirt from the top down. “They didn’t cut out your tongue, after all. I’ll make sure it goes to good use.”

She used her left hand to continue unbuttoning while her right brushed against his face. She liked feeling the smooth of his cheek and the rough of his sideburns, his tidy beard. She could smell his mouth watering cologne. He had an ever present steel gaze that quietly drove her crazy. Tahlia leaned in to kiss him, and though his lips moved in sync with hers, he still had the same, cold expression when he opened up his eyes.

“They say you can’t feel pain…” Tahlia said, more to herself than him. His eyes were deep and dark, so brown that they looked completely black. They were eyes that held countless unspoken secrets. She pulled him towards her, slid her hands beneath his polo, helped slide his shirt and blazer off. Tilly squeezed his biceps (deliciously tattooed, she noticed, with a modern, minimal design on his shoulders) and massaged his strong forearms. She could hear him take a slow, steady inhale and a long, drawn out exhale.

Tahlia’s hands trailed down his arms and she placed both of his hands on her breasts. She pressed her hips into his and made slow, grinding movements. She could feel the bulge in his pants hardening. Tahlia moaned and nipped his ear. Lucci’s dark eyes flashed a dirty gold for just a fraction of a second but it went unnoticed. Tilly’s voice was a low, seductive purr as she said, “Let’s see if you still feel pleasure.”

—

Well if you like it, let me know! I have some scenes written that I’d love to share if there’s any interest!

[huttons]

Never Really Was Enough, Pt. I

word count: 4.3k

summary:  When Eva moves to Raleigh, it wasn't a happy occasion. She needed to get away from her family and moving across the country was the quickest way for her to accomplish that. As she finds her place in Raleigh, she finds a new family with people she never expected to (especially with a certain red-headed hockey player).

warnings: talk of past dealings with homophobia, off-screen character death

author’s note: this was written as part of @fandomtrumpshate​ 2020! I was lucky enough to write this for @antoineroussel​ <3 

ao3 link

~ ~ ~

“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?”

The day Eva packs up and moves to Raleigh isn’t a happy one. Despite having the chance to start an amazing new job, and the chance to start over, she’s bitter about having to do it. The thought of having to make a new start without a support network is terrifying. But if it means that Eva can have a fresh new start, then so be it.

As Eva puts the last box into the U-Haul, she sighs. Moving across the country isn’t exactly how she had planned on getting away from her family, but she also didn’t think that she would be leaving so soon, either. It was a stroke of luck that she had been hired in North Carolina, and it was even better that she had found an apartment she could afford to live in.

Once she starts the long drive, there’s no heartfelt good-byes, and nobody to send her off. Eva has to remind herself that Lucas is long gone now and there’s nothing holding her back anymore. So, she begins what will likely turn into a week-long trip to Raleigh. It’s mostly a mindless drive, with only a few wrong turns. The days blur into each other, and she only stops for gas, food, and the chance to sleep.

By the time she pulls up to her new apartment complex, she feels exhausted and groans at the thought of having to unpack everything by herself. She drags herself to the front office to get checked in. It’s a smooth process, and once she gets the keys, Eva is hoping it doesn’t take all night to get everything moved up to her apartment.

“Hey, are you new here?” someone asks.

Eva turns and there’s a woman, about her age and blonde hair that glows in the sunlight walking over to the U-Haul.

“Yeah, just got in obviously,” Eva answers with a tired smile. “I’m Eva.”

“Samantha, but everyone calls me Sammy,” she introduces. “Are you here by yourself?”

“Yep, it’s just me,” Eva replies. “I couldn’t afford to hire any help, and my family couldn’t make it out, so it’s just me.”

“Ah, so you moved from far away?”

“Across the country,” Eva answers. “I came from Portland. The one in Oregon.”

“Damn, that’s a long-ass drive,” Sammy jokes. “But I think you’ll like it here. The neighbors are good, for the most part.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I’m guessing this will take you a while, so I should be able to help you once I pick up my boyfriend from the auto shop.”

“Oh, you don’t have to help.”

Sammy snorts. “Please, you’re going to be here for ages. It’ll be no big deal at all. There aren’t a lot of people our age here, so it won’t be too much of a hassle to help out.”

“Well, if it’s not a big deal, then sure, I’d appreciate the help,” Eva replies with a soft smile. “I live in 417 if I’m not down by the truck.”

“See you then, Eva.”

Once Sammy leaves, Eva looks back to everything she has to unpack. She’s thankful that she doesn’t have a bed or couch to worry about, but Eva isn’t happy about having to sleep on the floor until the bed she ordered comes in. Without the help from her family, though, there was no way she was going to be able to get a bed or a couch into the moving vehicle.

Eva loses track of time, and by the time Sammy and her boyfriend, Patrick, come by to help, it’s late afternoon. They don’t talk much, but the silence is easy, which Eva is unfamiliar with. It’s been a long time since she felt comfortable not feeling like she had to fill the quietness. By the time dinner time rolls around, they finally have everything in Eva’s apartment.

“Are you going to want help unpacking things?” Sammy asks.

“Nah, this was already so much help. I probably would have spent the rest of the night bringing things up here,” Eva answers. “But thank you again, I really appreciate this.”

“We couldn’t not help someone moving in by themselves,” Patrick says. “It’s a big step, what you did. I don’t think I could ever move across the country by myself.”

Eva shrugs. “If you have to do it, then you manage.”

Both Sammy and Patrick don’t ask for more details, which Eva is grateful for. She’s not really sure if she feels comfortable talking about how she ended up here quite yet.

“So, are you really going to be fine sleeping on the floor?” Patrick asks, a little bit of worry in his voice. “I’m sure we could find something more comfortable for you.”

“Yeah, it’s only for a couple of nights until the delivery comes in,” Eva replies. “I just wasn’t sure when I would be getting here, so I guess I’ll just have to suffer for getting here early.”

Sammy snorts. “Alright, well, if you ever need company, we’re just one floor up. And you know what, give me your number so I can text you good places for takeout. I’m sure that you won’t want to be cooking for the next few days.”

“Oh, thank you, that would be nice,” Eva replies, who was planning on just living off of pizza for the next day or two. “I honestly don’t even know what there’s to do here since I just moved out here for work, so honestly, I’ll take any recommendations you have.”

Once Sammy and Patrick leave, Eva has a new contact in her phone and a list of places to check out around Raleigh. It’s a comfort knowing that she already has people willing to help her out here. She isn’t sure how well she’ll click with people at work and the thought of randomly introducing herself to her other neighbors isn’t an appealing idea.

The following week is a hectic one, with Eva trying to get her apartment to feel like a home and making sure that she’s ready to start work. She meets up with Sammy and Patrick again for dinner one night at their apartment to take a break from unpacking all of her boxes. It wasn’t until she moved that she realized how much stuff she accumulated.

“So, what do you two do for work?” Eva inquires.

“I work in the front office for the Canes,” Sammy answers. “And Patrick here is a kindergarten teacher, which is why you see glitter everywhere.”

“That was one time,” Patrick protests. “It’s not my fault it never disappears.”

Sammy snorts. “Yeah, it was a mistake he’s thankfully only made once.”

“Uh, not to sound dumb, but am I supposed to know who the Canes are?” Eva asks, a little nervous. “Are they like…a big company or something?”

“Oh, they’re the NHL team here,” Sammy replies. “I keep forgetting not everyone keeps up with hockey.”

“Well…I guess I’m going to have to start watching it if I’m going to be friends with the two of you,” Eva says. “I’ve only watched one game and that was because it was on at a sports bar my brother and I were at.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Sammy says. “Hockey is fun, but it can be kind of messy sometimes. And I hardly understand it despite working there for a couple years now.”

Eva smiles softly. “Well, in that case, I feel a bit better about not knowing anything.”

“So, what brought you all the way across the country? I don’t think we ever asked,” Patrick inquires. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, though.”

“I found a good computer engineering job out this way for a small tech company. My other job just wasn’t cutting it,” Eva explains. “And it was time to get away from the family. Things were…not great, to put things lightly. Turns out they weren’t okay with me being bi.”

“We’re glad to have you here then,” Sammy says decisively. “Family can be shit sometimes, and I’m glad that you’ve been able to get away from them.”

Eva smiles sadly. “Thank you. I don’t think it’s really settled in yet, but I’m proud of myself.”

“You deserve to be proud,” Sammy says. “Now, let’s talk about happier things.”

The rest of the night passes easily and Eva can tell that she’s going to really like Sammy and Patrick. They’re good people and take her coming out with ease. She forgot that plenty of people don’t care about her sexuality, but with a minimal support system back home, it was easy to not remember that. By the time Eva leaves that night, her heart feels fuller and happier than it has in a long time.

When Eva gets back to her apartment, she sighs and makes a list of what needs to be accomplished tomorrow. There’s not much left to do, especially since the bed she ordered had come in a few days ago and she had found a decent couch off of craigslist. Her new job starts on the following Monday, which is only four days away now.

To distract herself, Eva decides to finish all the unpacking the following day, then goes shopping for things to decorate with. She sold most of those things before the cross-country drive, not wanting to hold onto any bad memories. Now she has the chance for a fresh start and it makes her feel light.

By the time Monday morning rolls around, she’s extremely nervous. Despite emails saying that people dress casually, Eva decides to go for a more business casual look, wanting to make a good first impression. She does her best to look like she didn’t stay up all night, then makes the drive out to the office.

“You must be Eva!” someone greets cheerily, once Eva walks in the front door.

“Uh, yes, that’s me,” Eva replies, taken aback by their cheery disposition.

“I’m James, and I’ll be helping you settle into the office,” James explains. “I know this is a lot to take in on a Monday, but today and tomorrow will mostly be orientation and HR stuff.”

“I can handle that,” Eva replies.

James proceeds to show Eva where her desk is and let’s her get settled. He gives her login information for her computer, and then lets her work on settling into her space, along with setting things up with HR. The morning passes quickly, then James is treating Eva to lunch, where they end up visiting a local diner.

“They’re open 24/7 and don’t mind if we stay for hours on end in the middle of the night when we’re trying to meet a project deadline,” James explains, when Eva seems a bit confused.

“Sounds like that’s a common experience,” she snorts.

“Don’t want to scare you off, but you wouldn’t be wrong,” James laughs. “How’s it been so far? I know it’s not that exciting, yet.”

Eva shrugs. “Could be worse. It seems like a good place and like there’s good people here. So, I think I can deal with a couple days of boring paperwork.”

“That’s the spirit!” James says happily. “And I promise that this is an amazing place to work. It’s not all that glamourous, especially since we aren’t a big company or anything, but the culture is what makes people stay.”

“Well, that’s good, glad I took a chance on coming out here then.”

The rest of lunch passes easily and Eva proceeds to spend the rest of the day filling out paperwork. Despite the easiness of the day, she feels exhausted by the time she gets back to her apartment. She reheats leftovers, then goes to pass out on her mildly uncomfortable bed.

The summer passes by quicker than Eva can even process. There’s so much to take in and she doesn’t have time to hurt about her family not asking about how she’s doing. It’s mid-August when she’s hanging out with Sammy, while Patrick preps for school to start up again.

“So, how would you feel coming to a company party with me?” Sammy asks, out of the blue. “It’s in a couple of weeks and I want you to come with me. It’d be fun.”

“Shouldn’t you be going with Patrick?” Eva retorts. “The two of you are dating.”

“Yeah, but I always bring him. Besides, I think you would have fun and would get along with everyone,” Sammy explains. “And honestly, Patrick is a bit all over the place this time of year, so I don’t think he’s too keen on going anyways.”

“What’s the vibe like? Is it a stuffy company party where everyone secretly gets drunk to get through the night or one where people actually like each other?”

“People actually enjoy each other there. And it’ll be a barbecue at one of the player’s houses, so it’s a totally chill thing.”

“Oh, well, it’ll be good to meet your coworkers then. I can finally put some names to faces, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll remember anything.”

“Alright, I’ll make sure that you’re on the guest list. Some of the players will be there with their partners, so you’ll have the chance to meet them if you want to.”

“I honestly could not tell you who’s who still, so I probably won’t even know that I met any of them.”

Sammy laughs. “That’ll provide some good chirping material for them.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Eva jokes.

“You’ll fit right in; I promise.”

~ ~ ~

Finally, the day of the barbecue rolls around. It’s still sticky hot, so Eva keeps her outfit simple with a tank top and a pair of shorts. Sammy insisted that the dress code was casual and there’s no need to dress nice. The whole thing is just a chance for everyone to mingle and meet the new people joining the Canes.

Despite still not really knowing any of the players, Sammy tells Eva about a new player that’s coming to the barbecue today. She seems excited to meet whoever the guy is, so Eva tries to remember his name, but forgets it the closer they get to the house where the get-together is being hosted.

Sammy has to park a little bit away, so when the two of them walk up to the house, Eva lets out a small gasp. The house is huge and the backyard looks gigantic. She supposes it has to be, to host an office party. However, it’s still a reminder how lucrative being an athlete and sports management can be.

“It’s fucking ridiculous, isn’t it?” Sammy snorts. “Not that I’m complaining, since it always means good food and alcohol, but still. I’m still honestly not completely used to it and I’ve been coming to these things ever since I started working here.”

“This is…a lot,” Eva comments. “But I’m excited to look around.”

Once they get into the house, Sammy drags Eva out to the backyard and introduces her to a bunch of people. Eva immediately forgets all of their names, but just smiles and nods along. After a little bit however, she decides to split off from the group to go get some food. She lets Sammy know and walks off to the other side of the yard. Once she gets her food, someone walks up to her and introduces himself.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet,” he says. “I’m Dougie.”

“Oh, it’s good to meet you, I’m Eva,” she replies. “I don’t actually work here, I’m with Sammy. I guess that makes you coworkers, right?”

“Um, I think? Technically?” he replies, unsure.

“Do you work in management then? Didn’t take you for the type, but I guess I shouldn’t judge.”

“Um, I mean-” Dougie starts to say.

“Dougie, get over here, we need to show you something!” someone else shouts.

He looks apologetically over at Eva before heading over to the group. Eva obviously wants to know what he was going to say, but shrugs it off and walks over to Sammy. She’s still animatedly talking to the same people as before, but smiles over at Eva when she joins the group again. After a few minutes, they head off to grab food as well.

“So, meet anyone exciting yet?” Sammy asks. “There’s a few players and they’ll introduce themselves to anyone new.”

“I might have met your boss? Or management?” Eva answers, still unsure of what Dougie’s role is.

���Oh, isn’t she amazing?” Sam gushes.

“She? Well, I guess I shouldn’t have assumed her gender,” Eva replies, immediately feeling bad.

Sammy looks confused. “Um…I don’t think we’re talking about the same person. My boss is over there.”

She points to a petite woman, with ebony skin. So, definitely not Dougie then.

“Well…that is definitely not who I met,” Eva whispers. “His name was Dougie.”

“You met Dougie? That’s the new player I was talking about!” Sammy exclaims. “We literally talked about this before we got here.”

“I was nervous! I don’t remember things when I get nervous.”

“Did you say anything embarrassing to him?”

“I mean, I basically told him that he didn’t seem like the management type? Because he said he was only technically a coworker of yours.”

Sammy snorts. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you told him that to his face.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Eva exclaims. “And I wasn’t wrong, was I? He isn’t the management type.”

“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone about this,” Sammy says, laughing.

“I’m making such a bad first impression,” Eva groans.

“No, I promise this will only make everyone love you more.”

“Whatever you say,” Eva replies skeptically.

Fortunately, the day passes in a much less embarrassing fashion for Eva. She manages to avoid Dougie the rest of the time she’s there, not wanting to address how badly she made a fool of herself. Normally, Eva likes to think she’s more put together than this, but something about it just makes her feel awkward.

“So, what did you think?” Sammy asks as they head out.

“It was fun,” Eva answers. “Still can’t believe I made a fool of myself in front of Dougie, though.”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s really going to be that big of a deal. I don’t think he’s the type of player to get mad about someone not recognizing him.”

“Oh, well, that’s good at least,” Eva jokes. “But then again, I doubt I’ll be seeing him again, so I guess I shouldn’t be too worried.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m not dragging you to another event soon.”

“Seriously? Why would you take me to another one of these?”

Sammy shrugs. “Patrick has never been too much of a fan of going and I don’t like going by myself. So, I’ll keep taking you until you get sick of it.”

Eva snorts. “Well, at least you’re being honest. It was fun today besides me being an actual idiot, so I guess I can tag along again. When’s the next thing?”

“We usually have something else when the preseason ends, so probably the end of September at some point. It’s much more relaxed since the players are usually off the walls with the energy to finally start the season again.”

“I won’t ever turn down the chance for decent free food, so count me in.”

“What do you need free food for? You earn just as much as Patrick and I combined in one year.”

“You’re not wrong, but it’s also a hold over from the college days. Some things just don’t change.”

Sammy just rolls her eyes in response. Once they get back to the apartment complex, Sammy drags Eva up to her apartment to tell Patrick about meeting Dougie. Eva is blushing out of pure embarrassment the whole time. She has a feeling that she’s not going to ever live it down, but she guesses there’s worse things to be teased about.

“For someone who’s so smart, I can’t believe you did that,” Patrick says, laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s not my fault half of these guys look exactly the same!” Eva exclaims. “And it’s not like it’s my job to know which one is which.”

“Well, you’re going to have to learn if you’re coming with me to more company events,” Sammy points out.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Eva groans. “I take back my standing offer of going with you, you don’t deserve it anymore.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Sammy says. “Besides, what happened to wanting free food?”

“No longer worth it,” Eva replies.

Patrick and Sammy laugh in reply. Eva just rolls her eyes.

“As much fun as I had today, I should probably head out. We have a huge project coming up at work and I know I’m going to be pulling more all-nighters than I want to admit,” Eva says.

“Alright, try to get some rest at least,” Patrick says.

“I’ll do my best,” Eva replies, as she heads out of the apartment.

The weeks pass by in a blur, especially since Eva gets swept up in project deadlines. Before she knows it, it’s the end of September and Sammy is dragging her to the season kickoff party. This time, it’s at a different player’s house, but the place is still as extravagant as the last one. Eva also had made sure to try and memorize a couple of players’ names and faces.

“Hey, it’s…Eva, right?” Dougie says, coming up to her and Sammy.

“Oh yes, that’s right,” Eva replies awkwardly. “And Dougie? Who doesn’t happen to work in management, but is instead a player?”

He snorts. “Yeah, that would be me. The guys still haven’t let me live that one down.”

“Glad I could provide some quality material,” Eva jokes.

“Don’t worry, I’ve made sure that she’s gotten some shit for it as well,” Sammy interjects. “Wanted to make sure the chirping was solid on both sides of it.”

Dougie laughs, and Eva feels herself warming a little at the sound. It’s a good laugh, and she feels a bit odd at admitting the fact. She shoves any thoughts of associating Dougie with being good or cute, not wanting to even go down that road.

“It seems like you’re settling in well,” Sammy says. “Is Raleigh everything you ever dreamed?”

“Ah yes, definitely living out all of my dreams here,” Dougie jokes, good-naturedly. “I do enjoy it here, though. I feel like it’ll be good.”

“Then it seems you and Eva are in the same boat,” Sammy replies. “She’s fairly new in town as well.”

“Oh? What brings you out here?” Dougie inquires.

“If y’all are going to bond over being the newbies, I’m going to go and get some food,” Sammy says, heading off.

Once she’s gone, Eva answers, “I moved out here for work, actually. Moved from Portland, Oregon, so it’s definitely a lot to get used to.”

“You really moved across the country for work?” Dougie says, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, I just…needed a scenery change and Raleigh was the first place that offered a decent job in a place I wasn’t completely opposed to moving to,” Eva explains. “I mean, it wasn’t hard to find computer engineering jobs, so I guess I was able to be a bit picky.”

“Computer engineering? I didn’t take you for the type,” Dougie teases.

“Oh my god, you’re not going to live me that down, are you?”

“The opportunity presented itself, and I didn’t want to pass it up. But seriously, that’s cool, even if I don’t understand what that even means.”

“It’s not much, we just help develop computer hardware and software. Most of the training is in electrical engineering anyways, so it’s not hard to adapt skills across the board.”

Dougie snorts. “It’s not much, she says. That’s still pretty impressive, Eva.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

“But I still can’t imagine why you chose Raleigh of all places. Why not New York or Seattle, or whatever? I feel like those places are more known for their tech industries.”

“Seattle was a little close to home for me, and I was also just tired of living in a big city, so moving to an even bigger city was out of the question.”

“That’s understandable, I guess.”

“So, I know you’re a new player here because Sammy mentioned it. But did you sign here or…I honestly have no idea how this works.”

“Nah, I was traded from Calgary.”

“…Is that in Canada?”

“Yeah, that’s in Canada,” Dougie replies, laughing.

“You’re going to chirp me about that too, aren’t you?” Eva groans.

“It’s only fair.”

“Did I miss Eva doing something dumb?” Sammy asks, coming back with a plate of food for herself and Eva.

“Yes, she didn’t know where Calgary is,” Dougie answers.

“Well, I can’t blame her for not knowing. It’s really not that remarkable,” Sammy retorts.

Dougie laughs again, and Eva feels herself blushing a little. He seems like a good person and definitely isn’t hard to look at. She tries to push those thoughts out of her head, knowing that if she manages to develop a crush on him, that it’ll go nowhere. The chances of anything happening between the two of them is slim at best.

“I’ll let the two of you continue enjoying the party, I’m going to go see how everyone else is doing,” Dougie says. “Hopefully I’ll see you later?”

“Oh, you definitely will,” Sammy says, rather ominously.

Dougie smiles, then heads off to where the food is located. Sammy immediately turns to Eva and raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Eva asks. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, it just seems like the two of you were getting along pretty well.”

“I was just being polite,” Eva says indignantly.

“Uh huh, I’m sure that’s what was going on.”

“Oh my god, you’re the worst.”

“Look, if the two of you become friends, or maybe you know…exclusive, I’m taking all the credit.”

“Nothing is going to happen because we’ll only see each other at these events if I decide to keep coming.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Sammy says, smiling brightly.

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“You’ll be thanking me later, Eva, I promise.”